thoughts of sweet memories

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Happy 38th Birthday Cindy!

To celebrate Cindy's birthday, we hosted a joyful cousin gathering at our house. Much like Cindy's Heaven Anniversary in April of this year, we asked cousins to join us for a family game night.

We didn't play as many board games this time around, but we ended up watching the Warriors game instead. As a basketball player and fan, Cindy wouldn't have minded the minor shift in the evening's festivities.

A new activity that we incorporated this year was cupcake decorating. Earlier in the day, Ava and I baked a few dozen cupcakes and mini cupcakes, in chocolate fudge and fun-fetti flavors. Carla took the lead on frosting them, and cousins took turns decorating them. Below are a few examples of some of the fun creations.

As we wrapped up our evening, I was touched by how many family members had taken the time to specifically remember Cindy today. Even those cousins who couldn't join us sent heartfelt texts about how they were thinking of Cindy, had gone to mass, or visited the cemetery.

I also reflected on how much our family has grown throughout the years, adding more kids and welcoming new spouses and significant others. It's amazing to know that there are so many more people who are learning about Cindy, through her family and friends; and everyone's thoughtfulness just continues to keep her memory alive and strong.

thoughts of remember me

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

I've been lucky enough to have seen the newest Pixar movie, Coco, three times already. And each time, I've cried during it's most touching moments. Coco is a heartfelt movie about the value of family, and the importance of keeping the memories of your deceased family members alive.

Naturally, the movie reminded me of Cindy. It actually made me think of all my dearly departed loved ones, and how I missed having them in my life. Although Coco made my cry, it was also reassuring to feel that Cindy was in a better place; and wherever she is, she is still surrounded by those who love her.

thoughts of puppy love

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Last Saturday, our family adopted a dog. Ava has been asking for a dog to join our family since she could talk, and we were lucky enough to find a sweet, mellow, adorable dog named Fiona at the Alameda Animal Shelter. She is the perfect fit for us.

Considering how perfect a match Fiona is for our family, I am certain that Cindy had a hand in bringing Fiona into our lives. Much like Nanook was Cindy's dog, Fiona is especially connected to Ava; they're like two peas in a pod.

In many ways, having a family dog is another way to keep Cindy's memory alive everyday.

thoughts of lunch money

shared by VJ Rabuy, her sister

When Cindy and I were kids, we used to bring our school lunch a lot. We definitely brought lunch more days than we bought lunch every week.

Our Dad created a simple system that kept track of how may times we would buy lunch each month. The daily cost for lunch was $1; so we had an envelope filled with $20 in ones, and the numbers 1-20 were written on the outside of the envelope. On the days we would buy lunch, we wrote our name by the number until all the numbers were filled.

Nowadays I try to only bring my lunch, and limit my outside food purchases to once a week. I don’t remember what happened to those extra dollars, if there were any, at month’s end. Perhaps it went back into the pot. If Cindy and I were allowed to keep our remaining lunch money, I imagine we would have used it to buy candy.

thoughts of cookie dough

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Last weekend, Cyn Cyn wanted to try making "edible cookie dough". It was something she had seen online, and just thought it would be fun to try. The girls enjoy baking, and it wasn't too elaborate of an idea, so they gave it a go.

Seeing the interest and excitement that the girls had for their baking project reminded me of Cindy. Several blog entries have described her creativity and knack for arts and crafts, and it was just endearing to see a similar enthusiasm in her nieces.

I can recall several occasions, both while we were kids and while she was in college, when Cindy would just get an idea and bring it to life. She'd say something like, "I wanted to try making a clay model of you in your orange prom dress, so I bought some clay and did it... here you go!"

As for the cookie dough... it was yummy! The recipe yielded a good amount, so we decided to bake most of it and just enjoy some cookies.

There was some doubt as they were baking, with the edges being slightly burnt and the dough not easily spreading... but they were still delicious! Tita Cyn would have enjoyed sharing them with the girls, along with a nice, cold glass of milk.

thoughts of part of your world

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Over the weekend, we had a chance to watch the Broadway musical version of Disney's The Little Mermaid. We were an enthusiastic group of 16 theater go-ers, that included sisters, husbands, daughters, cousins and close family friends.

Like most of the Rabuy and Pesigan cousins, Cindy loved Disney movies (animated musicals especially), and Broadway musicals. I know she was there with us in spirit. I think she's thrilled to know that her family is continuing her musical theater appreciation, and successfully passing it on to her nieces.

thoughts of smiling sisters

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

We have a few photos of Cindy around the house. Just wanted to share one of her and VJ that we keep on our piano. VJ shared another photo like this in her post about embroidery floss. So cute!

thoughts of sticker adventures

shared by VJ Rabuy, her sister

I remember when we were kids, Cindy and I bought a Tiny Toon Adventures Sticker Book. It was a long time ago, when the cartoon was still fairly new and very popular.

The book had illustrations throughout, telling a story, and various images were missing that could be revealed by placing the correct sticker on the corresponding space. However, the stickers weren't included with the book. Instead, you had to buy them separately from "mystery sticker packs".

Since we had to collect the stickers separately, we often had duplicates. Cindy and I didn't mind though, since the duplicates could be used in our own letters and binders and notebooks.

A few years ago, Arlene and I got similar Cars 2 Sticker Books. Arlene got her’s first, and I saw how much fun she had trying to collect all the missing stickers. Soon after, I got one for myself.

I was able to use most of the duplicates that Arlene had collected. It was fun to remember my first adventure with a sticker book with Cindy, as I was working on my Cars 2 book with Arlene.

thoughts of dinnertime

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Last Sunday morning, Andrew and the girls finished breakfast before me, and I found myself sitting alone at the dining table. I childishly whined out to them, "I'm lonely!" So Andrew returned to the table and playfully sat there staring at me.

I told him that I was just kidding, and was just fine sitting alone. But it reminded me of the times while my sisters and I were growing up, when Cindy would occasionally find herself sitting alone at the dining table because she was not allowed to be excused until she finished all of her food.

I told Andrew and the girls about a specific image I had in my head, of Cindy just sitting quietly staring at her plate (or bowl), but not necessarily eating anymore. I don't think my sisters and I were allowed to sit with her, but I recall just keeping an eye on her from the stairs that overlooked our kitchen dining area, where she sat.

I don't know how long she had to sit there. But I have a feeling that she didn't end up finishing her meal. I don't think she was mad or sad, but just that she didn't want to eat anymore, and she was just willing to wait patiently until one of our parents said that she could finally be excused.

thoughts of flower folding

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

On my birthday this year, Ava gave me a beautiful origami flower. I treasure and adore any gift from my girls, but was especially impressed with Ava when she told me that she thought of the flower idea, looked for something online, and found the "how-to" for it all on her own.

Cindy would be so proud of Ava's initiative and for continuing the origami tradition. I wouldn't be surprised if Cindy planted a little seed of inspiration in her niece's mind.

My cousin Jayne saw the flower when she was visiting one day, and asked Ava if she would come over to teach her how to make them, so they could be used as wall decorations for her apartment. Ava happily agreed.

So yesterday, the girls and I spent some time at Jayne's place folding flowers. Our other cousin Adam, who's living in the Philippines right now, happened to be home to attend a friend's recent wedding; so he joined us for our "flower workshop".

Thank you Cindy for continuing to spark our creativity and for being an inspiration for more fun family time!

thoughts of cinnamon toast

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Earlier today, Ava asked me if she could have some cinnamon. So we decided to make some cinnamon toast. She buttered the bread and we combined some sugar and cinnamon in a small bowl; we sprinkled it onto the bread, and popped it in the toaster oven. It was yummy!

My sisters and I would make both "sugar toast" and cinnamon toast when we were kids. It's funny that the girls hadn't been introduced to it yet as part of their childhood. Andrew and his siblings used to make cinnamon toast while growing up too.

Both the sweetened toast and cinnamon in general make me think of Cindy. Specifically, I always recall the song lyric from the beautiful song that Cindy's friend Abby wrote, and sang at her memorial services...

"Cyn... you're sweet like cinnamon, how I wish  I could see your face again..."

thoughts of angelic occasions

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Last Friday, June 30th, we commemorated our cousin Zoe's birthday. She would have been 21 years old this year. While we were remembering her, I believe that she, Cindy, and all our dearly departed loved ones were celebrating in heaven as well.

Since it was her 21st birthday, the Rabuy and Inciong families gathered at a lovely winery to share memories of Zoe, and to raise a glass in her honor. Many of our family members can't help but think of Cindy when we think of Zoe. It's comforting to know that although we miss both of them terribly, that they have each other.

thoughts of pantene hair

shared by VJ Rabuy, her sister

When I picture Cindy in my mind, most of the time she has long hair. I think there was only a brief period of time - during her childhood, when she had her shoulder length perm - that she did not have long hair.

I remember she washed her hair with Pantene Pro-V Shampoo. She also liked to use Rave brand mousse, which was very hard to find. Most of the time, the image I have of her is with a high ponytail, one she would where when playing sports (which was often).

Occasionally, I also have memories of Cindy waving her hair back and forth in a manner similar to those women featured in shampoo commercials, to highlight it’s silky softness. She typically only did this as a joke, after recently getting out of the shower, or removing the elastic from her ponytail.

Currently, I wear my hair long, but I may cut it soon. But I’m happy that it’s long for now. I can’t help but think of Cindy, whenever I see someone with lovely long hair like hers.

thoughts of a trip to the nail salon

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Tomorrow is Brooke's 8th birthday. As part of her birthday celebration, she had a "nail salon party" today, with her sister, cousins, and friends from school. It was so sweet watching the girls enjoy getting their nails done, and sharing snacks, fun and laughs.

Brooke's party reminded me of the time that my sisters and I all went to get our nails done, just a couple of days before my wedding. Cindy had scheduled all the appointments for us, and it may have been the only time that all of us were at a nail salon together.

Come to think of it, that pre-wedding-sister-salon outing may have been the first time that I had ever had my nails "professionally" done. Getting a manicure will always remind me of Cindy. I know she was smiling down on her nieces today, as they took some time to treat themselves at the salon.

thoughts of eat, pray, love

shared by AR Flanagan, her sister

About two months ago, I stepped foot into our local Whole Foods Market and I heard someone call my name. That someone turned out to be Cyn's childhood friend Angelica, who I hadn't seen in years!

She told me she was about to embark on a world tour for 14 months. She said she was just going to spend time to find herself. We talked for quite a bit of time when unexpectedly, my sister Carla walked into the store. She was able to give Angelica travel tips.

Angelica was so happy to see us, and we were happy to see her. She felt like it was a sign from Cyn. What are the odds that the three of us would happen to cross paths at the same time on a random weekday? Another orchestration by my sister Cindy? Definitely yes!!

thoughts of senior night

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

This evening, around 30 of our family members attended the Logan versus Kennedy men's volleyball match. We were there to cheer on Teo and his friends on the JV team, and Frisco and his friends on the Varsity team.

It was also Frisco's "Senior Night", since he will be graduating from high school this year. So it was even more festive, with posters and signs of the five senior team members on the gym walls, and our own signs and balloons showing our support for our cousin/nephew/son.

Frisco and his fellow seniors were introduced before the game. They walked out with their parents, girlfriends and other family members, while team managers shared their favorite volleyball memory and their messages of thanks with the crowd.

It was even more fitting that Kennedy was the opposing team, given that my sisters and I are all Kennedy alumni. I know Cindy was cheering right along with us. She would undoubtedly have attended as many sporting events for her cousins (as well as nieces) as possible, beaming with pride and joy.

thoughts of book worms

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Cindy was an English major while at UCLA, and she loved to read. I would often sit in awe of her ability to just curl up on the couch for hours with a book, either for fun or for school.

Andrew and I have held on to a few of Cindy's books. Recently, he came across some of them while doing some spring cleaning; so he decided to use them as part of the decor of our bedroom. A few of her books are now included in a lovely, short book stack, atop a little end table in the corner of our room.

I wasn't much a reader at all growing up, or while in school. But fortunately, Cyn Cyn and Ava are definitely book worms, like their Tita Cyn. I'm looking forward to the day when they can enjoy reading some of the books that used to belong to her.

thoughts of quality "tousin" time

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Today we commemorate 14 years since Cindy passed away. And knowing that 14 was Cindy's favorite number, we thought it would be fun to have a larger than usual gathering of family - specifically including more cousins - to enjoy some food and games.

Some of the fun-filled goings-on throughout the afternoon and evening included... 

• Diana and VJ helping to make spam musubi, just minutes after walking through the door

• Joyce getting the clue "rigormortis" in a round of Taboo, and Sean (her husband) correctly guessing it

• Cyn Cyn insisting to include herself (eavesdrop) in Angela and Leslie's conversations

• Carla, Mike, Brooke and Michaela driving non-stop from their weekend trip in Lake Tahoe to join us by early evening

• Sean and VJ appreciating the fun of enjoying a root beer float from a frosted glass mug

• Andrew and Bayani playing with transformers

• Josh (Angela's husband) not hesitating to help prepare some asparagus to share

• All the kids chasing each other, running laps through the kitchen and living room

• Shawn (Arlene's husband) and I playing a round of Boggle that included a "Qu", "K" and "V"

• Cary agreeing to be the "monster" in the kids' game, and Cyn Cyn braiding Noel's hair

• VJ, Andrew and I playing cards with our parents, with Mom claiming to not know how to play, yet managing to beat us all

• Leland hanging out with Cyn Cyn and Ava in the blanket fort to watch "Dolphin Tale"

I think Cindy was watching from above and smiling, appreciating how we were gathered in her honor; and also that we were behaving in ways that she would undoubtedly join in herself.

It was definitely a heartfelt way to spend the day, being surrounded with family, and enjoying quality time with cousins; or as Bayani might refer to it, "with tousins."

thoughts of school picture day

shared by VJ Rabuy, her sister

I was delivering mail the other day to an elementary school, and noticed the students filed in line to have their pictures taken. It was cute... girls with fancy headbands and some boys in collared shirts.

It reminded me of my elementary school days and Cindy and I having our own pictures taken on picture day at Ardenwood Elementary School.

My sisters and I have the straightest, blackest hair (Marlo’s hair is moreso dark brown); and for most, this is quite desirable. I, on the other hand, always loved the wavy locks produced by towel dried hair that was braided and slept in overnight.

So, either reluctantly or encouragingly, Cindy agreed to braid my hair the night before picture day so I would have wavy hair in my photo, nevermind that I didn’t look that way in real life.

I believe she did this for just about every picture day, with the exception of my kindergarten picture when I had a bowl haircut. My school age picture day photos reflect yet another way I used Cindy’s many talents to my advantage.

thoughts of joining the 22nd century

shared by AR Flanagan, her sister 

I just recently became a smartphone owner. It has been 41 days now. I know, I know, I'm joining the party pretty late in the game. I have never been very tech savvy, but I have a clear memory of Cindy being rather proficient in all things electronic.

I may have mentioned in a previous entry that she was the one who aided me in creating my yahoo email account. Her test email to me read "Welcome to the 21st century."

She also owned a "clie", what many consider as the precursor to the smartphone. Anyway, several friends and family were ecstatic that I finally joined the dark side.

The day after getting my phone, I attended a family dinner for VJ's birthday. Once everyone noticed that I finally got a smartphone, I felt like it also became a "Yay! ER finally got a smartphone celebration." So much so, that I could hear Cindy's voice saying, "Welcome to the 22nd century!"

thoughts of bittersweet memories

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Over the weekend, we were in the LA area to celebrate the wedding of our cousin Angela, to her new husband Josh. The rain stayed away just long enough for us to share in the beautiful, joyful ceremony, and to dance away during the lovely, fun-filled reception.

Whenever we visit LA, I always feel a hint of sadness. I love the chance to visit dear friends and family, and we had so many great experiences while we lived there; but the sadness is there too.

Driving through West LA and on the 405 was so familiar; some of the on and off ramps on the freeway have changed, but it's still the same. We even decided to take Sepulveda for a stretch, rather than the 405. It made me miss Cindy so much.

And as we drove through the area of the freeway where her accident occurred, we said a little prayer.

thoughts of brotherly love

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Cindy and Andrew had a truly wonderful relationship. She sincerely considered him as a big brother, and he looked out for her as his younger sister.

Recently, Andrew came across this photo of the two of them. It was taken during Christmas one year, although unfortunately I don't remember exactly which year. It's so sweet to see them smiling together.

thoughts of girl power!

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

I'm honored to say that a few of our family members and friends proudly took part in the Womens March in Oakland this weekend, one of the sister marches to the Womens March on Washington. It was a fantastic experience for all, filled with incredible energy and an empowering sense of community.

If Cindy were here, she would have undoubtedly been at the March with us. She could very well have been at the one in Washington DC. Being at the March made me think of Cindy, and reminded me of times while we were at UCLA when she was involved in similar movements and campaigns.

I know that Cindy was smiling down proudly on all of us - not just our family and friends, but on the millions of people coming together to stand up for issues that are important to us.

[Special thanks to Tita Ria for taking the photo below and sharing it!]

thoughts of young love

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Almost exactly a month ago, our family had the joy and honor of celebrating the wedding of our cousin Theresa, to her husband Josh. It was a simply beautiful day, filled with love, laughter, food, fun and family.

During the reception, many of us had a chance to catch up with Linh, who is good friends with Josh, and who was Cindy's boyfriend during high school and college. He is a teacher, happily married with two kids.

It was exciting to see him; and even better to hear that he and his family are doing well. It was also a little sad to see him too, since it made most of us think of times when he and Cindy were together.

Overall, it was a day all about love. I know that Cindy is smiling down on Theresa and Josh, Linh and his family, and all her loved ones, sharing in our happiness from above.