Tuesday, December 22, 2015

thoughts of seasons of love

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister
Happy 36th Birthday Cyn!
In celebration of Cindy's birthday, our family got together to have pizza, share ice cream cake and play board games, all things Cindy enjoyed doing. We even took the time to sing "Happy Birthday Cindy/Tita Cyn", before cutting into the cake.

It was heartwarming to hear our girls saying that they were excited for Tita Cyn's party tonight, as they went about cleaning their room and tidying up the house (also traditional activities for Cindy's birthday). I'm so glad that we've taken the time to keep Cindy's memory alive for her nieces, even though none of them had a chance to meet her.

Cindy's birthday and her Heaven Anniversary are such bittersweet occasions. It's joyful to make an extra effort to remember Cyn, but painful to feel that it would be so much better if she were still here with us.

With Cindy's birthday coinciding with the holidays, it's natural to reflect upon events of the previous year as we look forward to the new year ahead. For our family, this has been a year of engagements, and celebrations of love.

During the past twelve months, four cousins celebrated their engagement. On the Rabuy side, Jayne and Lawrence became engaged in June, Theresa and Josh in October, and Joyce and Sean in November. On the Pesigan side, Angela and Josh became engaged in December 2014.

In addition to the exciting engagements, Michael and Megan were married in May of this year, and Arlene and Shawn will be married in April 2016. Congratulations and best wishes to all of these beautiful couples!

A couple of weeks ago, Theresa and I exchanged emails about some general wedding planning. It's so exciting to have so many family weddings to look forward to in the near future.

After hitting send on my reply email, I had a brief moment of truly missing Cindy, and I unexpectedly found myself weeping, just bawling uncontrollably for a few minutes. Amidst all the moments of joyful excitement for my cousins entering their new stages in life, there were also instances of sadness, just knowing that Cindy, as well as Zoe, are not present to celebrate with us.

Once I wiped away my tears, finished blowing my nose, and took a few deep breaths, I went about the rest of my morning - washing dishes while listening to Pandora. The first song that played on my "Wicked (the musical) station" was Seasons of Love from Rent.

I knew that was Cindy's way of telling me to embrace both the joy and the sadness, and of reminding me that she was still celebrating with us, although she was not physically here. She's always had impeccable timing when it comes to friendly reminders.

As the song continued to play, I looked out the window and saw the red and golden colored leaves falling from the tree across the street, blowing briefly in the wind, and landing softly on the ground. I knew it was yet another reminder sent from above, about welcoming the change that life brings, and to continue to celebrate life's significant moments, both big and small.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

thoughts of holiday keys

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

During this time of year, my sisters and I often share several memories of when we were kids and would decorate our house for Christmas. With all her arts and crafts know-how, Cindy would often be in charge of the decorating process, coordinating each of our different holiday assignments.

One year, for whatever reason, we didn't have a Christmas tree. Not having a tree was odd, because we typically re-used the same artificial tree year after year. So rather than settle for not decorating, we decided to have a "Christmas piano", rather than a Christmas tree.

The five of us put our heads together and fashioned decorations to cover our piano. I don't remember the specifics, but I know there were types of garland, maybe red and green chains made of paper, and some form of tinsel.

I have a vague memory of how the piano looked, decked in holiday colors. I also remember the precise feeling of excitement when we all decided, "Hey, let's decorate the piano... as if it were a tree!" I'm glad that my sisters and I could collaborate on projects like this, and that we had Cindy to help lead us in our holiday activities.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

thoughts of a bad hair day

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Today I attended a  hairstyling workshop with a few mom friends, where we learned some braiding and styling techniques. It was a fun event that made me think of Cindy, and reminisce about all the times she would braid and style my and my sisters' hair.

There was one specific time while we were living in LA that Cindy helped rescue me from an especially ill-timed, bad hair day. It was the morning of a good friend's wedding, and all of the bridesmaids had appointments to get our hair done, specifically to be styled in lovely "up-do's" to compliment our dresses.

Unfortunately, my hair style did not turn out as planned. Rather than an elegant, classy twist or bun, my hair resembled a cross between an old-timey leather football helmet and the plastic, snap-on hair for a Lego figure.

As I returned from the salon and opened the door to our apartment, I started calling for Cindy, asking for her to please fix my hair. She took a look, said something like, "Ya, that's not good", and calmly went about un-doing and re-doing my hair, transforming it into something more presentable. Needless to say, it all turned out beautifully.

Monday, November 2, 2015

thoughts of enjoying a streak

shared by VJ Rabuy, her sister
In September 2002, Cindy was in The Bay for some reason. Coincidentally, it was towards the end of baseball season, smack dab in the middle of the historic 20 game win streak that the Oakland A’s achieved (as featured in Moneyball).
When the A’s reached 17 wins, Cindy got the idea to buy tickets to the would-be 20th win game. We didn’t know how many tickets we should buy, so we decided on five. Luckily, Cindy’s good friend Phi, my then boyfriend Ryan, and our cousin Theresa, said they could join us.
A few days before the game, we went to Target and found some kids’ sized A’s shirts. With the help of our sister Arlene, we went ahead and redesigned the shirts to our liking, cutting out the collars so we could fit our heads through. We decided to make Theresa’s a tube top!
I have tidbits of little details of the game day stored in my memory bank. I remember we were in the third deck and first row. We quickly realized that the first row wasn’t the best row to be in, because so many fans passed by in front of us as they found their way to their seats. It was “Double Play Wednesday”, so our tickets were only a dollar each.
We had a lot of fun in the car ride getting there. Ryan drove and Phi sat in front. The three of us girls were in the back in our A’s shirts, and Cindy was clad with yellow and green face paint. She painted a ‘2’ and a ‘0’ on her cheeks. She gave Theresa the A’s logo and put “Tejada MVP” across my face. We were so excited to have a chance to witness history!
After that game, I still wore my shirt. I kept it in my wardrobe up until the point where I stopped exposing my midriff. I know Theresa wore hers and even had it on at Angel’s stadium when they played the A’s. She wore it as a skirt.
I am thankful to have many memories of Cindy and A’s games. I even have memories of Cindy and Giant’s games. I like to think that Cindy would have continued to root for her home team, being a hometown girl and all. If there are SportCenter Score Alerts in Heaven, I imagine Cindy would have fun keeping track of the games.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

thoughts of joining the 21st century

shared by Arlene Rabuy, her sister

I remember when technology really started to have a big impact on my life. Cindy helped me join the technological age. As you may have already guessed, I am not very technologically savvy.

Cindy created my first email account for me. I remember asking her what an email was, and the next thing I knew, I had an email account.

The subject line read "Welcome to the 21st century." In the body of my very first email, Cindy had written, "Just wanted to welcome you to the yahoo email club". O my sister, thanks for bringing me out of the Dark Ages.

These days, because of my non-techy self, I do not currently own a smart phone. I'm sure Cyn is saying, "Would you get one already!"

Friday, October 2, 2015

thoughts of chopsticks

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Our family went to dinner at a sushi restaurant this evening and, per usual, Cyn Cyn and Ava asked me to make little "chopstick holder boats" out of their paper chopstick sleeves. This is something that we do at most sushi restaurants, almost without even knowing it.

I don't remember specifically when I and my sisters started this habit, but I'm sure Cindy was the one who taught me how to transform the paper into a little boat upon which I could rest my chopsticks.

While I was folding it, I was happy to think of passing down this minor ritual to my girls, since it had originally been passed on to me by their Tita Cyn. At the same time, it made me sad as I reflected upon how much more fun it would have been for everyone, if Cindy would have been able to teach this - and so many other things, both big and small - to her nieces personally.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

thoughts of in real life

shared by Theresa Navarro, her cousin

We're on the cusp of autumn here in New York, and so many things bring me thoughts of Cyn.

School is back in session, baseball pennant races and football season in full swing, and Pope Francis' historic visit to the U.S. happens this week. I'm sure Cindy and I would be texting each other about all of the above.

I wonder if we would have made time to call, or how clever her social media posts would be. For some reason, I always imagine Cindy would have been a social media guru, since she was such a social connector and director even in the analog world. What do you think her instagram handle would be? Maybe snoopycyn or something like that. 

#IRL (in real life) I meet random people everywhere whose lives she touched. Even guys at parties or bars who try to impress me because they went to UCLA, stop their "wannabe player" ways once I mention Cindy's name. Their respect for her is always genuine and I sense their shame if they think Cindy might disapprove of them hollering at her younger cousin.

This has really happened to me on several occasions, in completely different cities. I would probably have taken a picture with them and tagged Cyn just for fun; I'm sure she would get a kick out of that. 

More than a decade later, I still miss her everyday in subtle and even surprising ways. I try not to freeze her as the gummy-smiled teenager of my childhood. The older I get, the more my idea of her does too. Indeed, my memory of and love for her is very much alive.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

thoughts of EveryGoodBoyDoesFine

shared by VJ Rabuy, her sister

The other day, Arlene and I were able to listen to our friend's daughter practice piano. She is seven and she plays quite beautifully. It reminded me of when Cindy and I used to take piano lessons, when she was 12 and I was 10.

In general, I really liked piano. Every time I learned a new song I got more interested and excited to play. The only thing that I disliked about piano was how strict my teacher was; but Cindy didn't seem to mind as much. Cindy and I would practice at least two days a week besides the day of our lesson, and we tried to play all the songs we were learning.

Cindy and I took piano lessons for about ten months or so. But after we went to the Philippines to celebrate my Lola's 80th birthday in 1992, we didn't go back to piano lessons when we came home.


For some reason I also remember, that on the nights we had piano lessons, our mom would get us a Whopper from Burger King to share. Cindy and I shared that Whopper while waiting for the students before us to finish their lessons.

So even though I didn't like my piano teacher much, and we didn't play piano for long, at least I was able to learn to read notes and have fond memories of playing an instrument. And it was another childhood experience I enjoyed sharing with Cindy.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

thoughts of ice crystals

shared by VJ Rabuy, her sister

I have a distinct memory of Cyn liking a little bit of ice in her milkshakes. For a while, it was the deciding factor to determine whether a milkshake was an instantly "supremely delicious milkshake".

A milkshake without ice crystals could still be good; it was just a characteristic that made it an instant classic. I think way back, the milkshakes we got from the Jack in the Box closest to our house, more often than not, had those icy crystal suprises in them.

As I was enjoying an all-around yummy chocolate milkshake from one of my favorite diners last Wednesday, I was pleasantly suprised to experience those familiar bursts of icy goodness.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

thoughts of together again

shared by Arlene Rabuy, her sister
"There are times when I look above and beyond, there are times when I feel your love around me..."
I've always enjoyed the song Together Again by Janet Jackson. I've always been a Janet Jackson fan, and that song reminds me of Cindy.

I happened to hear that song this evening, when it played at the restaurant where I was having dinner. It made me smile.

Earlier today, I was at the A's game, enjoying perfect baseball weather. The A's won the game, on a walk-off hit, in extra innings. It feels like Cindy was smiling down on me all day.

"Everywhere I go, every smile I see, I know you are there smiling down at me..."

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

thoughts of hitting the showers

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

One random memory I have of Cindy from when she was in high school was being puzzled by the fact that she had taken a shower before leaving to play in a basketball game for her school.  I have an image of her in her shiny purple, gold and white warm-ups, leaving our house to head to the gym.

I don't know how regularly she did this, but I do recall having a conversation with her about it, asking why would she shower before the game, when most people would just wait until afterwards.  I think her response was something along the lines of, "I like to be clean before I leave the house."

She also let me know that she would indeed be taking a shower after the game as well.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

thoughts of a cynbow

shared by Arlene Rabuy, her sister

So I was contemplating whether or not to share this thought of Cyn a few months back when I was in Washington. I wasn't sure until a few weeks ago when I had the awesome opportunity to hang out with Mar, Li'l Cyn and Ava one afternoon.

Over the past 12 years I randomly look up into the sky while thinking of Cyn, always during the day when the sun is out with some clouds surrounding it. Nine times out of ten, I see a "rainbow" (although not a product of rain and the sun) kind of just hovering near the vicinity of the sun. It just lingers for a few minutes, then disappears.

I feel like it's Cyn communicating to me that she’s thinking of me too. I wasn't quite sure how to describe this rainbow because I wasn't sure if anyone else could see it. Well, that afternoon when Ava was riding with me back to her home she said, "Hey ER, do you see that rainbow in the sky?"

It was of course a sunny day, and so I looked off to the side of the sun. Sure enough, there was a "Cynbow". I was so happy that Ava could see it as well. She even pointed out that it's easier to see it with sunglasses on. I took it as a subtle hint from my sister to share this thought.

So if you are ever enjoying a nice sunny day with a few clouds in the sky, look off to the side of the sun. Sometimes you may experience a "Cynbow", a sign that Cyn is thinking of you too. If you have sunglasses, put them on to help you see it better.

Monday, June 22, 2015

thoughts of words of wisdom

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister
"It's amazing what you can accomplish when no one cares who gets the credit." -John Wooden
During his speech at the Golden State Warriors championship parade and rally, General Manager Bob Myers referred to the above quote as one that epitomized the team's success. It is also one of his favorite quotes by legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden.

Apparently, it was one of Cindy's favorite quotes too. I remember that it was this same quote (or a slight variation of it) that she listed in in her high school yearbook page that recognized the recipients of the "Titan Service Award". That award was given to 10 graduating seniors who made significant contributions to the school.

I didn't realize that Cindy was already familiar with John Wooden while she was in high school. Or maybe she wasn't, and she just believed in that same notion as he did about unselfishness and teamwork. Either way, it's just another example of Cindy's extraordinary character.

Bob Myers is from the Bay Area and was part of UCLA's 1995 NCAA Basketball Championship Team. Who knows, I may have even had a class with him! Learning more about him, he and Cindy seem a lot alike. And I could even picture Cindy being successful as a general manager of a professional sports team.

Being reminded of this quote gave me such a serendipitous reason to connect Cindy to the celebration of the Warriors' championship. I'm sure that she and Zoe, and so many other angelic fans (maybe even Coach Wooden) had their own Warriors victory party up in heaven.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

thoughts of fun with phones

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Just a few weeks ago, during Spring Break, we got my daughter Cynthia a cell phone. I'm proud and happy to say that she has been very respectful and responsible in the way that she uses it.

Something funny happened the other morning... she sent me a text while we were both home. She was in her room, just waking up; and I was in the living room, just starting to move around to get ready for the day.

Her text was a polite request to please bring her some socks or something, that she needed for her outfit for school. The situation just made me pause... sigh... and smile.

It reminded me of times when Cindy and I would contact each other from one room of our apartment to another via cell phone. However, we wouldn't text each other - as that wasn't as common or popular yet; we would actually call each other with a quick question or request.

Calling each other on the phone when we could just as easily get up and walk over to each other was always a fun and funny thing to do. It was a little odd... and a lot silly... yet also useful and effective.

Sometimes it's remembering those little, day to day occurrences like that, which make me miss her even more.

Friday, May 22, 2015

thoughts of a sense of honor

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

I received a text the other day from Roy, my good friend from college. Roy was also friends with Cindy.

We don't get to see each other often at all, as we live in different parts of the state; but he's the kind of friend I could not talk to for a few years, yet pick up as if we were in the middle of a conversation, the next time we saw each other.

His text offered a belated congratulations to Ava for her First Communion, that he had recently read about. At first, I was confused because I wasn't sure exactly where he had read about it, especially since I'm not on Facebook. 

Then I realized that he had probably read about it on this blog. He replied saying that indeed he had learned about Ava's First Communion via the blog, and that he thought sharing memories of Cindy with everyone through this blog was a great way to honor her.

I was so grateful to know that after all these years, there are friends and family out there who still take the time to read this blog.

Although I agree with my dear friend Roy that we honor Cindy by regularly posting new blog entries, I have to add that I am truly honored and touched knowing that people are making the effort to continue to absorb these memories.

So thank you for reading, thank you for sharing, thank you for continuing to honor Cindy's life, memory and spirit. I am honored and delighted to continue to share these thoughts and memories together.

Saturday, May 2, 2015

thoughts of how girls rule!

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Today, Ava received her First Holy Communion. It was a beautiful, sunny day that our family celebrated together. I could feel Cindy smiling down on all of us, and helping to make the day even more enjoyable and memorable.

Below is a photo of Cyn Cyn, Ava, Brooke and Michaela from today. It reminded me of many of the photos that my sisters and I have taken throughout the years; and also of how these four lovely young ladies possess so many of their Tita Cyn's amazing qualities.

Thank you Tita Cyn for always watching over us!

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

thoughts of fun with pens

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

One of Cyn Cyn's homework assignments this week included writing a product review for a "magazine project". She chose to write about two different types of pens.

Much like her Tita Cindy, Cyn Cyn has an affinity for pens, and office supplies in general. To some degree, all of the Rabuy sisters have an appreciation for the joy of office supplies.

Andrew has written about Cindy's love of a good pen in a previous blog post. Tonight, as Cyn Cyn wrote her paragraphs about the pens, she drew inspiration from her Tita Cyn.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

thoughts of sharing sentiments

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Today we commemorate Cindy’s heaven anniversary. In honor of her anniversary, below are some comments from personal emails and newspaper articles that were shared with our family just after she passed away, 12 years ago today.

...Knowing her has been a blessing in my life and it is impossible to express in words my appreciation, admiration and adoration for her. Cynthia is one of those special people in life that I truly would have done anything for...  I always called her "Superstar" because in my eyes that's what she has always been...

...Her personality was as warm as her generosity and open-heartedness...

...The situation comes around once in a generation when you have a young person who is talented, altruistic, self-effacing and sensitive -- in addition to being extraordinarily intelligent -- who is taken away from us prematurely...

...Cynthia was one of the most beautiful, creative, generous, funny, intelligent, warm, sweet, and modest people I have ever met. I knew her since 2nd grade and will forever be inspired and touched by her memory and the life she led...

Sunday, March 22, 2015

thoughts of lemon picking

shared by VJ Rabuy, her sister

I have a fun memory of Cindy that involves the movie Clueless, a movie we both loved instantly and would often recite lines from. There was one scene in particular in which Cher brought a tray for her dad for tea time.

After she set the tray down in his office, she proceeded to the window and plucked a lemon from the tree, cut it and set it on the tray alongside all of the other tea elements.

I remember it being so quick of a moment that it may have been missed by some, but Cindy delighted in its simplicity and its definite practicality.

Monday, March 2, 2015

thoughts of lenten promises

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Ava is preparing to receive her First Communion in early May. During her Sunday School classes, they have been talking about the idea of Lenten Promises and Sacrifices: the practice of identifying something to "give up" during Lent.

My sisters and I traditionally committed to a Lenten sacrifice every year. Making such a Lenten promise reminds me of Cindy, and the moments we shared during Lent. Although it is typically considered a solemn season, we would manage to respectfully add a level of fun.

Every year, we always spent a few moments joking about giving up a non-existent vice (like coffee, alcohol, swearing, or smoking). I remember a couple of years when one or two of us gave up candy; and rather than simply politely declining when offered some candy, we accepted it and added it to a candy stash to be eaten once Easter arrived.

Just this weekend, I enjoyed teasing Carla a few times during a family party, because her Lenten sacrifice this year is not eating meat for every day of Lent (not just on Fridays). Those moments of offering her food that I knew she would refuse and then giggling about it, brought to mind memories of those similar moments shared with Cindy.

Ava thought about giving up chocolate for Lent this year, but we discussed that it might be too challenging for now. So we identified a behavioral improvement that she could have as her Lenten promise instead. Just the fact that she decided for herself to identify a Lenten promise was so impressive and touching. Her Tita Cyn would be proud.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

thoughts of the creative spirit

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Last Friday evening, VJ helped me make some hair ties for Cyn Cyn's volleyball team. We cut strips of her team's lovely blue and purple uniform colors, and tied them onto plain black hair elastics.

When the team wore them on Saturday, it certainly added a little extra something to the team spirit, and were also just really pretty. As we worked on the ribbons, both VJ and I reflected on how Cindy would be proud of us for both being crafty and for supporting Cyn Cyn's team.

Last month, VJ and I collaborated on another arts and crafts project; this time it was creating hand made invitations to her birthday party. We used small squares of origami paper, bright, rectangular cards with rounded corners, and stickers to make up the different components of the invitations.

Both projects were a lot of fun. And both times we took a moment to acknowledge that our arts and crafts activities were a small way of remembering Cindy and celebrating her creative spirit.

Monday, February 2, 2015

thoughts of a wink and a smile

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

The other day, Ava asked me, "What does flirting mean?" Her question reminded me of something that Cindy once said (or had reflected in a journal)... "Some people call it flirting... I call it charm."

I think it was an insight into how she was so immediately and effortlessly liked by others, how just being around Cyn made you feel better.

We would often joke about how innocent flirting would occasionally result in random special treatment. Maybe an extra scoop of ice cream, an added discount on a purchase, or a free cookie, was given to one of us in exchange for "a wink and a smile".

Those "wink and a smile" moments are some of my fondest memories of Cindy, and of fun, giggling times that we all shared as sisters.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

thoughts of michael's

shared by VJ Rabuy, her sister

When I was younger, Cindy and I did not have much money. Come to think of it, we probably usually had no money. Where would 9 and 11 year-olds get money in the early 90's? It is probably good because we would have undoubtedly spent it on candy.

On those rare occasions when we did have money, we would buy FIMO moulding compound and embroidery floss. Both my older sister Arlene and I have blogged about Cindy's crafty savant side. And today, I am once again reminded of those fond trips we would take to Michael's, ziploc bags of change in hand, and of what little colors we could afford of both - or either - that we would bring to the register.

Today I went to Michael's with my mom and Arlene. I thought about what I could pick up for my next new project. I hope to come up with something amAZIng. Something that would make Cindy proud.

Friday, January 2, 2015

thoughts of donuts and roses

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Our mom has always been a huge fan of the Rose Parade. When we were kids, we all traveled to Southern California to watch it in person. I know we watched it at least once, possibly more. So when I watched the Rose Parade yesterday with my daughters, it made me think of my family, and of Cindy.

I particularly remember a picture of her watching the parade. She was somewhere between four and seven years old, and her hair was permed (maybe she was younger). She was eating a chocolate donut, and I think she had gotten some chocolate on her face. That simple, somewhat random memory of her made me appreciate the parade even more.