thoughts of a lovely day

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Happy 37th Birthday Cindy!

In what has become our family's tradition on Cindy's birthday, we all got together for a birthday party in her honor. Although we didn't order pizza this time, we made some "sushi bake", shared in an ice cream cake and played games.

Earlier in the day, many of us attended the Simbang Gabi (Dawn Mass) at Saint Anne's Church. At the end of mass, the choir sang Ang Pasko ay Sumapit, one of the most popular Filipino Christmas carols.

Hearing the song and attempting to sing along reminded me of the times when Cindy and I would sing our loosely translated English version of it, but still with the same melody. It never sounded quite right, but was always fun to sing.

In the afternoon, we had a chance to visit the cemetery. As we were leaving the house, I remarked to myself how it was such a nice day outside. The weather was perfect... just lovely. A couple of times during the day, I even found myself humming the Bill Withers song.

In the evening, we all got together for dinner; we even sang Happy Birthday and lit candles on Cindy's cake. Leslie was taking pictures, and happened to capture the girls with their cheeks puffed up as they blew the candles out.

Cindy was never a fan of birthday celebrants being photographed at that moment in time, so it made me laugh.

Although Cindy's birthdays are always bittersweet, they are undoubtedly filled with love, laughter, food and fun.

thoughts of clay crafting

shared by Joyce O'Shea, her cousin

Hello! For readers who may not recognize this  "blogger", I am one of Cindy's younger cousins. I am writing this a few days away from my wedding. 11 days to be exact.

Weddings can be really fun but also really REALLY stressful. Like with any other stressed out bride, I find myself complaining aloud about all the things that need to be done, people to call/e-mail, things to buy, etc. 

I lost count of the number of trips to Michael's to buy random crafting supplies. I have to admit, I like crafting even though I'm not as creative as many people. 

You know who else loves crafting... Cindy. 

I've been thinking of her a lot these days. We didn't have too many memories growing up since we lived in different countries, but I remember one specific memory. It was during one of our US trips, and we drove to visit her and Ate Marlo at UCLA.

We stayed at their apartment, and Cindy just happened to have some polymer clay. I just remember we spent the whole night with chunks of clay and a guidebook, so we could mold and bake the clay into random stuff.

Cindy mentioned that she was forbidden to use the microwave for clay because she made a real mess last time. 

Such a random memory, but I just remember how It was a quiet night, but such a fun night. I always think back to that night whenever I find myself having a quiet (crafting) moment.

[***Originally written and submitted in late September. Apologies for the belated sharing.]

thoughts of pecan tarts

shared by AR Flanagan, her sister

With Christmas just around the corner, I  am reminded of the many activities that we as sisters participated in during the holiday season.

We were usually recruited by our mom to participate in one particular activity which I vividly remember. That activity was making pecan tarts from scratch, that she would then wrap in batches with shiny cellophane and ribbon, to give to friends and family as holiday treats.

I remember how we had to carefully mold the dough into each individual circle on the tart pans. Cyn was very good at this since she had such long fingers that would reach to the bottom of the mold very nicely.

Even though we, as sisters, were "voluntold" to make the tarts, I look back on this memory and crack a little smile.

thoughts of a frightful night

shared by VJ Rabuy, her sister

While visiting Southern California during Halloween season several years ago, Cindy and I, along with our boyfriends at the time, our good friend Phi and our cousin Theresa, all ventured out to Knott's Scary Farm.

I had been to a few of these "Fright Night" style attractions before, but from what Cindy had told me, this was like the ‘Mecca’ of the scary freak-out experiences. She told me that each year the employees had to audition, and it always was very competitive.

On one particular attraction, the boys had already gone all the way through, but Cindy, Theresa and I still had to turn the last corner. Cindy and I were steps from the exit, but poor, sweet Theresa was a half-step behind.

Theresa must have been looking the other way for a second when a werewolf got into position, and the moment she turned, he was right in her face. Cindy and I turned around concerned, but also relieved that it wasn’t us.

Although it may not have been as enjoyable for Theresa at that given point in time, it was hands down the most memorable moment of that frightful night, an evening that I'm grateful to have shared with my dear sister and cousin, and good friends.

thoughts of a gummy smile

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Last week, Cyn Cyn got braces. It's a rite of passage for just about everyone, and it made me think about whether or not all my sisters and I had braces. I can't recall for sure, but I'm pretty sure we all did.

Sometimes, when you have braces, you may not smile as much. I actually had surgery on my jaw while I had braces; and I never really liked my smile until after my jaw surgery. I occasionally notice that Cyn Cyn's smile sometimes resembles Cindy's smile.

Oftentimes, when Cindy would smile, you would see a lot of her gums, as in the photo below. This is one of my favorite photos of her; and in it you see about the same amount of her gums as you do her teeth. Seeing smiling photos of her always makes me smile too.

thoughts of an oaktober wedding

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Yesterday, our family had the honor of celebrating the wedding of our cousin, Joyce, and her new husband Sean. It was dubbed an "Oaktober" wedding, given the couple's connection to the city of Oakland.

My sisters and I had the pleasure of assisting with the preparation of some of the flowers for the festivities. We spent Friday evening creating a few boutonnieres and corsages, and a couple of small bouquets.

It was a fun evening of flower arranging, and a wonderful reason for getting together. A few times throughout the evening, we remarked how we missed Cindy. We talked about how she would have utterly enjoyed being a part of the flower making process, most likely leading us in it.

In many ways, Cindy is our inspiration for our amateur family flower business. We hope the work we did makes her proud!

thoughts of a side of ranch

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Like most kids, Cyn Cyn and Ava often order chicken strips or chicken nuggets when we go out to eat. Their dipping sauce of choice is typically ranch dressing. Those little dipping cup ramekins used for serving the ranch always remind me of Cindy.

We actually have three "dip style" ramekins in our cupboard - two dark blue and one pink. I think they managed to make their way into our kitchen when Cindy was in college. I believe she would stealthily sneak them into her styrofoam leftovers box just before leaving a restaurant.

Although it's never OK to steal, since we just happen to have the ramekins for dipping and serving, it adds a little fun to mealtime. Whenever I use them, I remember when Cindy and I would use them when we shared an apartment; and they're a little reminder for the girls, of their Tita Cyn.

more thoughts of PJs

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

In a previous entry, I told about a set of Cindy's pajamas that we keep hanging in our closet. It's a light purplish-blue, spaghetti strap tank top, and some plaid, blue and white, pajama pants.

Cyn Cyn is 13 now, and resembles her Tita Cyn in many ways. Just tonight, I looked at her in her PJs - a plain white, spaghetti strap tank top, and pinkish-salmonish pajama pants with some white outlined design pattern - and thought, "Huh... whad'ya know... she sure looks a lot like Cindy in those PJs."

thoughts of everyone loves doughnuts

shared by VJ Rabuy and Marlo Beall, her sisters

Cindy and VJ liked doughnuts. Cindy's doughnut was the old fashioned glaze. VJ's doughnut was the chocolate raised. VJ remembers that they had a phase when the two of them were into French Curlers; it was most likely because they saw it in the movie Wayne’s World.

When Cindy was Senior Class President, her class would sell doughnuts at school, during the first break everyday; and they made a lot of money. When any of us think of the best doughnut shops in Fremont, we always think of Lloyd’s Donuts, where Cindy’s class bought their doughnuts. Yum!

Cyn Cyn and Ava are also doughnut fans. Cyn Cyn prefers the old fashioned glaze, while Ava mixes it up, but always keeps it fun. She often opts for the chocolate raised bars, chocolate raised, or sprinkles. It's fun to see the shared doughnut love among aunts and nieces.

Ava was so inspired by her doughnut affection that she chose a Jansport backpack with a doughnut designed pattern for her back to school backpack this year. She wore it for the first day of school today, and I know almost everyone who sees it begins to crave a doughnut! Yum! Yum!! Yum!!!

thoughts of repair camp

shared by VJ Rabuy, her sister

Cindy and I each got a JanSport backpack many moons ago, one September, as we prepared to go back-to-school. Mine was purple with leather on the bottom, and hers was black with leather on the bottom.

Our mom bought our backpacks from Costco; and for some reason, I remember them being packaged in a box with one corner cut out, so the color could be seen.

Our backpacks served us well through our school-aged years; and whenever either of our zippers would get worn out, we would send our backpack to the JanSport Warranty Department. That was one of the best things about JanSport products, the lifetime warranty.

When we would receive our freshly repaired backpacks in the mail, there would be a slip of paper attached telling the story of how much fun our pack had at “repair camp”. It would describe the activities our backpack participated in and any drills it practiced. We always got a kick out of that little note that came with our “good as new” backpack.

thoughts of rockin' out on the road

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

The other day, Cyn Cyn asked me whether I ever "rock out" to the car radio when I'm driving by myself. And I told her, "Ya, of course I do!" I've always thought that one of the most enjoyable times to sing loudly is while you're in the car.

Cindy and I would often sing while we were in the car together. I have an image in my head of the two of us in the car, on our way to UCLA. We've just exited the 405 freeway, onto the Sunset Blvd. off ramp, and we're just singing... loud and proud.

Cyn Cyn and Ava have triumphantly upheld the "sisters singing in the car" tradition. Over the past few months, their songs of choice have been from the Wicked soundtrack. The girls sing an inspiring rendition of the duet, For Good, that would undoubtedly make their Tita Cyn proud.

thoughts of warm hugs

shared by Steve Young, her friend from high school

When I think of Cyn these days, my thoughts are no longer filled with past memories, but ones that we missed out on... like going to each other's weddings or possibly meeting for playdates for our kids.

I can imagine us catching up over a cup of coffee and laughing about the silliness of our youthful drama, and then moving on to exchange stories about our kids.

Now that we are in our mid-thirties, I feel like there's a sense of calm and self-acceptance that didn't exist in our twenties. And I wish I could share these more important moments with her. 

I often think back to all the things that I would change from the past - a few interactions that I should have handled better, but I know if Cyn were here today that there would be no need for apologies. All we would need is a good ol' "cynature" hug and we'd both know that everything is alright.

Side note: a friend of mine that I recently had lunch with gave me a big, long hug, and it reminded me of the way Cyn would hug everyone.

thoughts of collective space

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Last weekend, our family started our summer vacation by taking a short trip to the Los Angeles and Orange County area. While there, we visited UCLA, which we haven't done in about a decade.

We took the girls on a quick tour of some of the main parts of campus, and hoped to visit the conference room within the Community Programs Office (CPO) that was named in Cindy's honor.

Andrew and I were not sure whether we would be able to see it, since it was the weekend, and campus was relatively empty. However, when we walked up the short set of stairs towards CPO, we found the door wide open; although we didn't find anyone inside.

There was definitely some divine intervention that led to the CPO being open. We walked into the office and found Cindy's room was open too; it's named the "Cynthia E. Rabuy Collective Space". 

We were excited to have been able to show the girls their Tita Cyn's room. We are also eternally grateful for everyone at CPO, past and present, for continuing to honor Cindy's memory.

thoughts of laura hall on the piano

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Cindy, Andrew and I always enjoyed watching the show, Whose Line is it Anyway? together. When we used to watch it, some fifteen years ago, Drew Carey was the host and some of the series regulars were Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles and Wayne Brady.

Sometime over the past two or three years, the show began airing again, this time with Aisha Tyler as the host. And thankfully, Colin, Ryan and Wayne were all back on this revived version; along with Laura Hall, the woman who played the piano that accompanied the performers as they made up songs and jingles as part of the show's different improv games.

The other night, I happened to catch part of the show while flipping through channels. Seeing it reminded me of Cindy, and I thought to myself, "I should mention this in a blog entry."

Well I think Cindy decided to use the moment to send me a greeting from above, because just after switching the channel to the show, the next game involved asking the audience for a woman's name to be used as part of a song. The name that was suggested and used just happened to be Cynthia.

thoughts of more prom night fun

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

It's prom season again! Seeing photos of my friend's daughter on her way to prom reminded me of one of Cindy's prom moments. VJ described her own prom memories with Cindy in this previous blog entry.

One additional memory that I recall was when Cindy's prom date had carried out the romantic gesture of filling the trunk of his car with dozens of roses. So upon opening the trunk as they were leaving for the evening, Cindy was delighted to find the beautiful flowers.

She was presumably very touched and impressed by the gesture. However, when she recounted the story to me the next day, she told me of her priceless reaction upon seeing the roses. She cracked her trademark sly, charming smile, and simply said something along the lines of, "Well, now where am I supposed to put my stuff?"

thoughts of being funny

shared by VJ Rabuy, her sister

Like most siblings, when Cindy and I were younger, we would occasionally tease one another, all in good fun.

One of our bits, that we would use when one poked fun at the other, went like this:

I would begin by saying something, just playfully teasing Cyn.

After a few exchanges, she would reply, "You're funny… (after a dramatic pause) ...looking."

I, in turn, and in order to keep the teasing going, would make an annoyed face of some sort, and would respond by saying "…smelling."

Then, the both of us together would say,

"…tasting!!"

I thought that it was pretty funny that we came up with the final "insult" of "tasting", because how often can you really make fun of someone for being "funny tasting"? And furthermore, how would you even be able to ever prove the 'funny tasting-ness"?

After those teasing exchanges, we would admire our cleverness and would usually forget all about why we began teasing each other in the first place!

thoughts of divine attendees

shared by Arlene Rabuy, her sister

It all started on Wednesday, April 13 when I was shopping at Macy's. As I shopped, the song that was playing over the store's sound system was One Direction's "What Makes You Beautiful", a song that reminds me of Zoe.

Immediately afterwards, Janet Jackson's "Together Again", a song that reminds me of Cyn, began playing! It just made me smile because I felt like Zoe and Cyn were looking down on me, happy for me.

Then last Saturday, it was my wedding day. As I knelt and faced the altar during our wedding mass at St. Edward Parish, I noticed a fly land on the altar itself. The peculiar thing was that it just stayed there, right where it landed, for the duration of the mass.

What was even more peculiar was a smaller fly landed on the other side of the altar and remained there for the duration of the mass as well.

As I was staring at these two insects, I thought to myself, "Could these two creatures be my sister and goddaughter taking a front seat to witness a very important day in my life?" If you ask me, my answer is "Yes!"

I just smiled even more while this thought crossed my mind. The day was already perfect. My divine attendees made the day even more so.

thoughts of celebration time

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

I'm happy to say that we've continued our family tradition of making the special effort to honor and remember Cindy on her "Heaven Anniversary", which is today. As in previous years, we spend time together as a family engaged in some activity that especially reminds us of Cindy.

Today, we went to the A's game, even our mom and dad joined us. It was a dual special occasion, honoring Cindy, while also celebrating Arlene and Shawn's upcoming wedding. Undoubtedly, Cindy's spirit was there with us at the coliseum... and the A's won!

If you had a chance to remember Cindy today, thank you. She is in our hearts everyday.

thoughts of turtle treats

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Over the weekend, we celebrated Arlene's Bridal Shower, as she prepares for her upcoming wedding. Most of our aunts, female cousins and some close family friends gathered at Marie Callender's Restaurant (Arlene's favorite) to enjoy some fun games, yummy food and delicious pie.

As part of the festivities, VJ, Cyn Cyn and I made rice krispie treats as the party favors. We used cookie cutters to create sea turtles and sea shells, as pictured below. They even resemble the tatoos that my sisters and I have, as described here. Cindy would have been proud of our creativity.

The sea turtles and sea shells were inspired by Arlene's love of the Disney movie, The Little Mermaid. Also, turtles are always a way to honor and remember Cindy. We know she was celebrating with us in spirit, but making and sharing the turtle shaped treats was just a small way to help us feel her presence even more.

thoughts of hitting the showers, again

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

While we were driving to volleyball practice this evening, Cyn Cyn told her friend, Jenna, that her hair was still wet because she had just taken a shower. Jenna was a bit surprised and asked, "You took a shower before practice? You're just going to get dirty again."

At that time, Ava remarked, "You're Tita Cyn," referring to the fact that Cindy would occasionally take a shower before a sports practice, especially during high school (as described in this previous blog entry).

I simply love it when the girls have moments when they remember something about Tita Cyn, especially since they never had the chance to meet her. It reassures me that our family is doing a good job of keeping her spirit alive for them.

thoughts of heart and dedication

shared by Jeff Ynzunza, her junior high and high school friend

I always remember Cynthia's bubbly personality around school and at sporting events. She was always involved with something, whether it was sports (Volleyball, Basketball, and Badminton), or with helping run the school as part of the student council.

I honestly don’t recall a time when I ever heard her complain about being tired either. I also don’t think she ever said a negative thing about someone.

She inspired a lot of people to get involved and stay active in the school. She was one of the reasons why, after we graduated, I ended up sticking around and coaching various sports so I could remain involved and give back.

I remember talking to Coach John Webb after she passed away, about how there would never be another person even close to her in terms of her dedication.

She truly was a very special person. The world truly is a better place because of people like Cynthia. I only wish that more people had her heart and dedication.

Those of us who were blessed enough to know her, even if it was not for nearly long enough, are better people because of it. Cynthia is truly missed.

thoughts of little heavenly "hello's"

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

I always appreciate subtle, serendipitous moments throughout the day, that I know are Cindy's way of saying hello from above. I encountered five of these different moments, just yesterday and today.

Last night, I was texting with a fellow softball mom about practice, and we learned that we were both Filipino; and we thought that was a fun coincidence. She later went on to tell me that her mom's name is Cynthia.

While at work this morning, there was an email announcement about a newly hired employee at our campus library, and her name was Cynthia too.

Later at work, I was walking through the hall after an unusually complicated counseling appointment, and happened to see a student who crossed my path who was wearing a (University of Kansas) Jayhawk hoodie.

Another email that I received today was from a colleague at another college whose name is Cindy. Her email had been sent at 11:52am (a time that I relate to Cyn, as described in a previous blog entry).

Between yesterday and today, I exchanged emails with my friend Aris (who is getting married this month), and he mentioned that he was including a photo from my and Andrew's wedding in his own wedding slide show. It's a photo of him, Carla, Cindy and VJ (also mentioned in a previous blog entry).

I know these moments are Cyn's way of reminding me that she's always with me; and that regardless of what is going on at any given moment during my day, there's always a reason to smile... so I do.

thoughts of friends who remember

shared by Arlene Rabuy, her sister

A couple days before Christmas, I happened to run into one of Cyn's friends from high school, at our local Hallmark store. She recognized me and said hi.

She also said, "It was Cynthia's birthday yesterday, right?"

I answered, "Yes."

I was touched that she remembered Cyn's birthday. It's refreshing to know that Cyn's memory lives on with her friends too.

thoughts of an angel network

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Last month, the mother of my good friend Roy passed away. Following her passing, I sent Roy an occasional text offering condolences, and just letting him know that he and his family were in my thoughts and prayers.

In one of Roy's replies, he let me know that he had been driving home from the Novena prayers for his mom, at the time that he received my text. He went on to say that while driving, he was thinking about all the family members that his mom would be reunited with in Heaven. He also thought of how Cindy was also up in Heaven with his mom too.

Roy mentioned that he knew that Cindy and his mom would look out for each other. It was an amazing, serendipitous coincidence that Roy had been thinking of Cindy at the exact same time that he had received my text. It was just further evidence of the heavenly presence that we are fortunate enough to occasionally experience.

Receiving Roy's reply text made me cry and smile at the same time. It's both comforting and touching to think of the network of angels, made up of loved ones of friends and family, who not only look out for each other up in Heaven, but also watch down on all of us on Earth, who miss them so dearly.