Tuesday, May 22, 2012

thoughts of missing my sister, Cyn

shared by VJ Rabuy, her sister

Whenever I hear about a person losing a loved one, I don't know what to say, or how to show comfort. I wish there was a line that would grant instant solace.

When Cyn died, so many years ago, the only thing that made me feel hopeful, or gave me a sense that I'd be okay, were stories of other people losing their loved ones. I know my sister Carla had a co-worker who lost a sibling, and Carla and Marlo's good friend Delilah had a sister who had passed. I just thought, for these people, life had to go on; and so, for me too, life must go on.
I know Cyn lives on in our memories, but that doesn't change the fact that she is no longer here in the physical sense. It saddens me, the realization that I can't create more memories with her and sometimes I fear I'm forgetting her a little at a time.

I do remember Cyn. I remember she always smelled fresh and clean. I remember that she had to take a shower everyday, probably so her hair would fall just the way she liked it. Her hair was long. It was silky. She was diligent about taking care of it.
She would wear shirts that just met the top of her jeans, so that when she walked, a sliver of her midriff would be exposed. She had glasses and a retainer, but if you didn't live with her, you'd never know.
She really, really liked English, liked the language and the literature. She did so many extra curricular activities in college, it made you wonder how she stayed on the honor roll.

She liked to quote movies, Bring It On and Clueless were among her favorites; she enjoyed broadway plays and theater in general. She appreciated the comic Adam Sandler and owned at least three of his comedy albums.
She played basketball and was good at it. She was good defensively and as well at making hoops. She and Linh went all the way to the league championships in badminton their senior year, and won.
She was crafty and creative, she was really good at making a simple art project “state fair worthy”.

She was easy to get along with. If she were to give a criticism, she would begin with a compliment on your effort.
She made every game fun, not just because she invented it, but because she was a part of it.
She brought people together - whether it be herself and her friends Abby and Danny, two JFK alums who also attended UCLA, for "Remember the Titans" evenings; or our own family for an impromptu Christmas photo shoot at the Fremont Hub, after we just took studio pictures that same day, for what would be our last complete family portrait.

She was so much fun to be around. Some people just have a contagious energy that takes you in and envelopes you in whatever good feeling they had. There's always enough to go around.  

She was smart. Like borderline-genius-smart, but never talked down to people or made them feel like they weren't at her level. She was wickedly talented. I've blogged about her bowling a turkey, and she had not bowled that much, at least not to my knowledge.

I just remember that she loved life. She loved every minute of it. She traveled the world, going to Asia and Europe. She was just about to start a new adventure for one year, teaching English in Japan. That was the same year she left us.

Things like this blog help me to think of Cyn. Sometimes, seeing Lemonheads at the liquor store makes me think of Cyn, because we saved up our quarters as kids to buy these sweet and sour treats. I miss my sister so much. Everyday. I miss you Cyn and I love you.

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