thoughts of bruin family

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Last weekend, I was lucky enough to attend our cousin Bernadette's graduation from UCLA Law School. Our whole family is so proud of her achievement, and are excited for all that she'll accomplish in the future.

I hadn't been back to UCLA in a few years. It's always very nostalgic being back on campus, and bittersweet as well. There's countless fond memories, but also sadness knowing that Cindy didn't get the chance to move on to the next stages of her life after completing her degree.

After the graduation ceremony, a few of us walked down the hill to the middle of campus, to visit the meeting room that had been named in Cindy's honor. A previous entry describes when Andrew and I took the girls to see it back in 2016.

I was happy that more of our family members had a chance to also visit the space. And it's touching to know that Cindy's memory and spirit are kept alive in a special spot on the UCLA campus.

thoughts of a time saving tip

shared by VJ Rabuy, her sister

I'm visiting a good friend in Long Beach this weekend, and as I was getting ready for bed, I only saw her son's toothbrush by the sink. I asked my friend where her toothbrush was, and she informed me that it was in the shower.

It made me think about when I would visit Cyn when she lived in LA, and I remember that she would keep her toothbrush in the shower too. It is probably a good time saver, and easier because the water is running, to brush your teeth while showering. But it's a practice I have never tried.  

When I think about it, it does make sense. It was cool to discover that my friend and Cyn shared this little quirk.

thoughts of pinay power

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Earlier this month, a friend from college passed away suddenly. Her name was Dawn Bohulano Mabalon. We were at UCLA together in the 90's and were both involved with the on-campus Filipino organizations there.

Dawn went on to become a History Professor at San Francisco State University; but more importantly, she became a mentor and inspiration for countless members of the Filipino/a community through her research, her teaching, her activism and just being her wonderfully fun-loving, brilliant self.

I don't remember whether Cindy ever had the chance to meet Dawn, but they truly remind me of one other. I'm fairly certain that Cindy knew who Dawn was, and that if they had had the chance to spend even a few moments together, they would have been big fans of each other. I'm confident that Dawn and Cindy are now becoming fast friends in heaven. #dawnmabalonisintheheart

thoughts of major league

shared by VJ Rabuy, her sister

My sisters and I are fans of the movie Major League. I once wanted to watch it just so I could count the number of times a cuss word was used.

At one point while we were growing up, Arlene wanted to own a copy of all baseball movies, and you could be sure that Major League was amongst them. I think it's safe to say it was the first R-rated movie that Cindy and I had ever watched.

There is a line used by the new owner lady during the early scenes of the movie, where she meets with the team's front office personnel as they review a list of prospects for the team meant to lose. Not only is the list full of washed up, undesirable players, it also contains at least one name of a player who was deceased.

The line goes something like...
Scout: “This guy’s dead.”
Boss lady: “Well cross him off then.”

This scene and favorite quote reminds me of a time when Cindy was just starting her term as the Financial Supports Commissioner (FSC) for the Associated Students of UCLA. She had been cleaning out the office as she was moving in, and found a half-filled box of old business cards for the previous FSC, Tyett Nguyen.

So I opened the box, took out a business card, grabbed my pen, drew a line through the previous FSC's name, and wrote "Cynthia Rabuy" above it.

As soon as Cindy saw that I made the old forgotten card useful once again, she kinda chuckled and was amused. At that instance I’m not sure who said it, but the words, “well cross him off then” were undoubtedly uttered.

thoughts of U-C-L-A... fight...fight...fight!

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

While we were at UCLA, Cindy and I (along with Carla and Andrew) attended various sporting events. We were pretty spoiled by the fact that UCLA has such an outstanding college athletics program.

However, we didn't typically attend the more popular sports, like mens basketball or football; we actually ended up at more volleyball games or gymnastics meets. I've always been a gymnastics fan, and volleyball was the one sport that all five of us (Rabuy sisters) played in high school.

This past weekend, the UCLA womens gymnastics team won their 7th National Championship. It was a pretty exciting event, where UCLA was behind for most of the day and needed a 9.95 from its last competitor to win. That last routine earned a perfect 10, and the Bruins won!

I just happened to catch the last half hour of the event on TV. Watching it made me think of Cindy. Looking back at our college years, I really don't know how much she actually liked gymnastics. I wouldn't be surprised if maybe she just went to the meets because she knew I enjoyed them so much.

Either way, I'm happy to have those UCLA sports memories with my sister. Whenever the Bruins compete, I have even more reason to be both proud and sentimental.

thoughts of heartfelt memorials

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Fifteen years ago today, Cindy went to heaven. It's hard to believe it's been that long.

During our traditional family gathering in her remembrance, our parents brought a collage that was made up of the different newspaper articles and columns that were written when she passed away.

It's so heartwarming to be reminded of how Cindy's life touched so many people. We take a little extra time to think of her at this time of year, on her Heaven Anniversary; but we still miss her every single day.

thoughts of book worms

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Cindy was an English major while at UCLA, and she loved to read. I would often sit in awe of her ability to just curl up on the couch for hours with a book, either for fun or for school.

Andrew and I have held on to a few of Cindy's books. Recently, he came across some of them while doing some spring cleaning; so he decided to use them as part of the decor of our bedroom. A few of her books are now included in a lovely, short book stack, atop a little end table in the corner of our room.

I wasn't much a reader at all growing up, or while in school. But fortunately, Cyn Cyn and Ava are definitely book worms, like their Tita Cyn. I'm looking forward to the day when they can enjoy reading some of the books that used to belong to her.

thoughts of bittersweet memories

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Over the weekend, we were in the LA area to celebrate the wedding of our cousin Angela, to her new husband Josh. The rain stayed away just long enough for us to share in the beautiful, joyful ceremony, and to dance away during the lovely, fun-filled reception.

Whenever we visit LA, I always feel a hint of sadness. I love the chance to visit dear friends and family, and we had so many great experiences while we lived there; but the sadness is there too.

Driving through West LA and on the 405 was so familiar; some of the on and off ramps on the freeway have changed, but it's still the same. We even decided to take Sepulveda for a stretch, rather than the 405. It made me miss Cindy so much.

And as we drove through the area of the freeway where her accident occurred, we said a little prayer.

thoughts of girl power!

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

I'm honored to say that a few of our family members and friends proudly took part in the Womens March in Oakland this weekend, one of the sister marches to the Womens March on Washington. It was a fantastic experience for all, filled with incredible energy and an empowering sense of community.

If Cindy were here, she would have undoubtedly been at the March with us. She could very well have been at the one in Washington DC. Being at the March made me think of Cindy, and reminded me of times while we were at UCLA when she was involved in similar movements and campaigns.

I know that Cindy was smiling down proudly on all of us - not just our family and friends, but on the millions of people coming together to stand up for issues that are important to us.

[Special thanks to Tita Ria for taking the photo below and sharing it!]

thoughts of young love

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Almost exactly a month ago, our family had the joy and honor of celebrating the wedding of our cousin Theresa, to her husband Josh. It was a simply beautiful day, filled with love, laughter, food, fun and family.

During the reception, many of us had a chance to catch up with Linh, who is good friends with Josh, and who was Cindy's boyfriend during high school and college. He is a teacher, happily married with two kids.

It was exciting to see him; and even better to hear that he and his family are doing well. It was also a little sad to see him too, since it made most of us think of times when he and Cindy were together.

Overall, it was a day all about love. I know that Cindy is smiling down on Theresa and Josh, Linh and his family, and all her loved ones, sharing in our happiness from above.

thoughts of clay crafting

shared by Joyce O'Shea, her cousin

Hello! For readers who may not recognize this  "blogger", I am one of Cindy's younger cousins. I am writing this a few days away from my wedding. 11 days to be exact.

Weddings can be really fun but also really REALLY stressful. Like with any other stressed out bride, I find myself complaining aloud about all the things that need to be done, people to call/e-mail, things to buy, etc. 

I lost count of the number of trips to Michael's to buy random crafting supplies. I have to admit, I like crafting even though I'm not as creative as many people. 

You know who else loves crafting... Cindy. 

I've been thinking of her a lot these days. We didn't have too many memories growing up since we lived in different countries, but I remember one specific memory. It was during one of our US trips, and we drove to visit her and Ate Marlo at UCLA.

We stayed at their apartment, and Cindy just happened to have some polymer clay. I just remember we spent the whole night with chunks of clay and a guidebook, so we could mold and bake the clay into random stuff.

Cindy mentioned that she was forbidden to use the microwave for clay because she made a real mess last time. 

Such a random memory, but I just remember how It was a quiet night, but such a fun night. I always think back to that night whenever I find myself having a quiet (crafting) moment.

[***Originally written and submitted in late September. Apologies for the belated sharing.]

thoughts of a gummy smile

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Last week, Cyn Cyn got braces. It's a rite of passage for just about everyone, and it made me think about whether or not all my sisters and I had braces. I can't recall for sure, but I'm pretty sure we all did.

Sometimes, when you have braces, you may not smile as much. I actually had surgery on my jaw while I had braces; and I never really liked my smile until after my jaw surgery. I occasionally notice that Cyn Cyn's smile sometimes resembles Cindy's smile.

Oftentimes, when Cindy would smile, you would see a lot of her gums, as in the photo below. This is one of my favorite photos of her; and in it you see about the same amount of her gums as you do her teeth. Seeing smiling photos of her always makes me smile too.

thoughts of a side of ranch

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Like most kids, Cyn Cyn and Ava often order chicken strips or chicken nuggets when we go out to eat. Their dipping sauce of choice is typically ranch dressing. Those little dipping cup ramekins used for serving the ranch always remind me of Cindy.

We actually have three "dip style" ramekins in our cupboard - two dark blue and one pink. I think they managed to make their way into our kitchen when Cindy was in college. I believe she would stealthily sneak them into her styrofoam leftovers box just before leaving a restaurant.

Although it's never OK to steal, since we just happen to have the ramekins for dipping and serving, it adds a little fun to mealtime. Whenever I use them, I remember when Cindy and I would use them when we shared an apartment; and they're a little reminder for the girls, of their Tita Cyn.

thoughts of rockin' out on the road

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

The other day, Cyn Cyn asked me whether I ever "rock out" to the car radio when I'm driving by myself. And I told her, "Ya, of course I do!" I've always thought that one of the most enjoyable times to sing loudly is while you're in the car.

Cindy and I would often sing while we were in the car together. I have an image in my head of the two of us in the car, on our way to UCLA. We've just exited the 405 freeway, onto the Sunset Blvd. off ramp, and we're just singing... loud and proud.

Cyn Cyn and Ava have triumphantly upheld the "sisters singing in the car" tradition. Over the past few months, their songs of choice have been from the Wicked soundtrack. The girls sing an inspiring rendition of the duet, For Good, that would undoubtedly make their Tita Cyn proud.

thoughts of collective space

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Last weekend, our family started our summer vacation by taking a short trip to the Los Angeles and Orange County area. While there, we visited UCLA, which we haven't done in about a decade.

We took the girls on a quick tour of some of the main parts of campus, and hoped to visit the conference room within the Community Programs Office (CPO) that was named in Cindy's honor.

Andrew and I were not sure whether we would be able to see it, since it was the weekend, and campus was relatively empty. However, when we walked up the short set of stairs towards CPO, we found the door wide open; although we didn't find anyone inside.

There was definitely some divine intervention that led to the CPO being open. We walked into the office and found Cindy's room was open too; it's named the "Cynthia E. Rabuy Collective Space". 

We were excited to have been able to show the girls their Tita Cyn's room. We are also eternally grateful for everyone at CPO, past and present, for continuing to honor Cindy's memory.

thoughts of laura hall on the piano

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Cindy, Andrew and I always enjoyed watching the show, Whose Line is it Anyway? together. When we used to watch it, some fifteen years ago, Drew Carey was the host and some of the series regulars were Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles and Wayne Brady.

Sometime over the past two or three years, the show began airing again, this time with Aisha Tyler as the host. And thankfully, Colin, Ryan and Wayne were all back on this revived version; along with Laura Hall, the woman who played the piano that accompanied the performers as they made up songs and jingles as part of the show's different improv games.

The other night, I happened to catch part of the show while flipping through channels. Seeing it reminded me of Cindy, and I thought to myself, "I should mention this in a blog entry."

Well I think Cindy decided to use the moment to send me a greeting from above, because just after switching the channel to the show, the next game involved asking the audience for a woman's name to be used as part of a song. The name that was suggested and used just happened to be Cynthia.

thoughts of in real life

shared by Theresa Navarro, her cousin

We're on the cusp of autumn here in New York, and so many things bring me thoughts of Cyn.

School is back in session, baseball pennant races and football season in full swing, and Pope Francis' historic visit to the U.S. happens this week. I'm sure Cindy and I would be texting each other about all of the above.

I wonder if we would have made time to call, or how clever her social media posts would be. For some reason, I always imagine Cindy would have been a social media guru, since she was such a social connector and director even in the analog world. What do you think her instagram handle would be? Maybe snoopycyn or something like that. 

#IRL (in real life) I meet random people everywhere whose lives she touched. Even guys at parties or bars who try to impress me because they went to UCLA, stop their "wannabe player" ways once I mention Cindy's name. Their respect for her is always genuine and I sense their shame if they think Cindy might disapprove of them hollering at her younger cousin.

This has really happened to me on several occasions, in completely different cities. I would probably have taken a picture with them and tagged Cyn just for fun; I'm sure she would get a kick out of that. 

More than a decade later, I still miss her everyday in subtle and even surprising ways. I try not to freeze her as the gummy-smiled teenager of my childhood. The older I get, the more my idea of her does too. Indeed, my memory of and love for her is very much alive.

thoughts of words of wisdom

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

"It's amazing what you can accomplish when no one cares who gets the credit." -John Wooden

During his speech at the Golden State Warriors championship parade and rally, General Manager Bob Myers referred to the above quote as one that epitomized the team's success. It is also one of his favorite quotes by legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden.

Apparently, it was one of Cindy's favorite quotes too. I remember that it was this same quote (or a slight variation of it) that she listed in in her high school yearbook page that recognized the recipients of the "Titan Service Award". That award was given to 10 graduating seniors who made significant contributions to the school.

I didn't realize that Cindy was already familiar with John Wooden while she was in high school. Or maybe she wasn't, and she just believed in that same notion as he did about unselfishness and teamwork. Either way, it's just another example of Cindy's extraordinary character.

Bob Myers is from the Bay Area and was part of UCLA's 1995 NCAA Basketball Championship Team. Who knows, I may have even had a class with him! Learning more about him, he and Cindy seem a lot alike. And I could even picture Cindy being successful as a general manager of a professional sports team.

Being reminded of this quote gave me such a serendipitous reason to connect Cindy to the celebration of the Warriors' championship. I'm sure that she and Zoe, and so many other angelic fans (maybe even Coach Wooden) had their own Warriors victory party up in heaven.

thoughts of fun with phones

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

Just a few weeks ago, during Spring Break, we got my daughter Cynthia a cell phone. I'm proud and happy to say that she has been very respectful and responsible in the way that she uses it.

Something funny happened the other morning... she sent me a text while we were both home. She was in her room, just waking up; and I was in the living room, just starting to move around to get ready for the day.

Her text was a polite request to please bring her some socks or something, that she needed for her outfit for school. The situation just made me pause... sigh... and smile.

It reminded me of times when Cindy and I would contact each other from one room of our apartment to another via cell phone. However, we wouldn't text each other - as that wasn't as common or popular yet; we would actually call each other with a quick question or request.

Calling each other on the phone when we could just as easily get up and walk over to each other was always a fun and funny thing to do. It was a little odd... and a lot silly... yet also useful and effective.

Sometimes it's remembering those little, day to day occurrences like that, which make me miss her even more.

thoughts of a sense of honor

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

I received a text the other day from Roy, my good friend from college. Roy was also friends with Cindy.

We don't get to see each other often at all, as we live in different parts of the state; but he's the kind of friend I could not talk to for a few years, yet pick up as if we were in the middle of a conversation, the next time we saw each other.

His text offered a belated congratulations to Ava for her First Communion, that he had recently read about. At first, I was confused because I wasn't sure exactly where he had read about it, especially since I'm not on Facebook. 

Then I realized that he had probably read about it on this blog. He replied saying that indeed he had learned about Ava's First Communion via the blog, and that he thought sharing memories of Cindy with everyone through this blog was a great way to honor her.

I was so grateful to know that after all these years, there are friends and family out there who still take the time to read this blog.

Although I agree with my dear friend Roy that we honor Cindy by regularly posting new blog entries, I have to add that I am truly honored and touched knowing that people are making the effort to continue to absorb these memories.

So thank you for reading, thank you for sharing, thank you for continuing to honor Cindy's life, memory and spirit. I am honored and delighted to continue to share these thoughts and memories together.