thoughts of study groups and soul sharing

shared by Cheryl Singzon Coson, her friend from college

Not a day goes by where I don’t think about Cindy. I think about what impact she made in my life, and how happy it makes me to remember her. She was a big part of my college life – she helped me as a student and as a person, and I am so blessed to have known her. She honestly saw the good in everybody and had the gift to bring out the best in everyone.

We were English majors together, so we often had study groups together, and she was always motivated to set them up and get a lot of work done. I remember we took one English class together, and I did so badly on a midterm that I was ready to drop it. I remember talking to Cindy about wanting to give up, but she pushed me to believe in myself and to keep going. I ended up doing so with her support and passed.

In 2001, we spent 6 weeks in Europe together. As amazing as Europe was, with us studying Shakespeare, climbing to the top of the Eiffel Tower, biking in the mountains of Austria, riding a gondola in Venice, catching a glimpse of the Pope at the Vatican...we would also spend hours at parks sharing our souls to each other. I cherish all that one-on-one time we had together. I was struggling to know who I was and I knew how lucky I was to have her by my side. I admit at times, her honesty made me defensive, but I knew what a blessing it was to have a friend who loved me so much. Even when I go through hard times today, I remember things she told me to give me strength.

I love you Cyn! Happy Birthday!!!

thoughts of happy cows

shared by Cheryl Singzon Coson, her friend from college

For my birthday in 2002, Cindy gave me a yoga mat and a smiling cow figurine. We started doing yoga together, and took classes almost every quarter. I still use the same yoga mat. She gave me the cow figurine because when we were in England, I would always tell her that the cows looked so much happier in England than in my hometown, and she would always convince me that the cows at home don't know it any other way. :)

thoughts of writing to your future self

shared by Angela Makabali, her cousin

Cyn gave me a journal when I left for college. On the first page, she wrote an inscription. (I always thought Cyn had some of the nicest handwriting I've ever seen, and that's still the case. It was likely part of the package of being as artistically amazing as she was, I imagine.) The basic gist of it conveyed that one of the things she really appreciated in college was her old-fashioned, non-electronic journal because it was like writing to your future self--and possible future generations--to document all of the lessons in all their painful, funny, and/or ridiculous glory.

It was the first journal I ever finished from the first page to the last. In that journal, I worked through my first legitimate relationship, the disappointment of not getting a summer counseling position, the growing of my political consciousness, and the various everyday run-ins that made up my first year of college. Since then, I've filled more than 800 pages that have gotten me through the last 8 years.

One thing Cyn's gift taught me is that the exercise of journaling is one that requires confronting the self even when you don't want to. While I haven't completely learned to let go of my gods, I have a better idea of what those gods are. There are times that I don't want to write about things because it requires me to relive the emotions, but like all things that lead to growth, I've learned courage, but also to give myself grace when I feel like I don't deserve it. Being able to look back at my writings from almost a decade ago reminds me that while change is slow, it really is there, and that Cyn is there to watch out for me along the way.

thoughts of the joy of giving

Happy 31st Birthday Cyn!

In honor of Cyn’s birthday, we wanted to share a handful of different memories about gifts that folks have received from Cyn throughout the years. If you would like to share some thoughts about gifts from Cyn, please feel free to do so in the comments section, or send us an email and we’ll add it to the blog. Or if you just wanted to add a comment to say that you were thinking of Cindy today, we would love to hear from you as well. Thank you for taking the time to share in our blog, and for continuing to keep Cyn’s spirit and memory alive.

thoughts of the best laid plans...

shared be Andrew Beall, her brother-in-law

One of the best gifts Cindy ever gave me was being my accomplice when I planned to ask Marlo to marry me. I spilled the beans to her first, even before anyone from my family. She was eager and excited to help. I remember being nervous to finally tell someone what I was thinking of, and was relieved and overwhelmed when she agreed to participate in my plotting.

We discussed all sorts of places to pop the question, and ultimately decided on UCLA, for many obvious reasons. Every detail of the proposal had been thought through, and we were ready to go on the day we chose. Unfortunately, Marlo did everything possible to make sure our plans didn't work. At least we were positive she had no idea a proposal was coming. If you haven't heard the story, just ask me next time you see me. I'll never forget frantically trying to call Cindy right before the main event was about to go down. Thankfully, it all worked out. =)

I still love all the photos Cindy took as the proposal was happening, and cherish them deeply. Each time I look at them it takes me right back to that moment in time. But more importantly, I was so glad that Cindy was there to be a part of something that meant so much to Marlo and me. It wouldn't have happened without her.

Happy Birthday Cindy!

thoughts of Cheesecake Factory and Quiksilver

shared by Paul "Alabama" Tran, her close family friend

For my 25th birthday, a group of friends and I gathered at the Cheesecake Factory in Marina Del Rey. It was an awkward birthday because I had graduated from college and my large group of friends had changed, some people moving away and some just disappearing in that post-college hectic-ness way. It was also strange because my college girlfriend and I had recently broken up. Oh yeah, and I was unemployed at the time and in a "What should I do with this time in my life?" kind of mood.

So back then, I'm not sure there was Evite, or mass emails, or texts. I'm not exactly sure how people spread news or announcements, how word of mouth exactly worked. But it did, and twenty or thirty people showed up for the occasion. I was so happy and surprised that so many people came out for me, especially in the summer time (September) when people are in transition even more. (You must remember here, that my 21st birthday brought out what seemed like hundreds of people, so I was used to big, festive, populated parties).

And who would go and just show up with her big sister? Cyn did of course. I remember sitting in the lobby and seeing Cyn and Marlo just appear. Seeing Marlo was a big enough surprise because she was pretty busy in those days, having moved back to So. Cal to work at UCLA and be with her boyfriend (now husband, Andrew).

And then there was Cyn, who showed up in her always cool, nonchalant way, like "Of course I'd be here." She had just finished her first year at UCLA and it was great to see her around campus, especially so since I'd known her since she was 16. My friends were a little bit older, but Cyn, old soul, wise spirit, fit in as she has the gift to do so with any group of people.

That night, Marlo and Cyn gave me a Hawaiian-type shirt made by Quiksilver. It's kinda blue-gray, with these bamboo designs on it. Yes, it's kinda fun and cheesy all rolled into one, MADE for bar-b-q's if a shirt ever was. Over the years, as I've clean out my closet and donated clothes away, I always come upon that shirt. And though I never wear it, I can't bear the thought of parting with it cause Marlo and Cyn gave it to me.

thoughts of three gifts from my sister

shared by Arlene Rabuy, her sister

Of all the gifts given to me by Cyn, the ones that stand out the most to me are:

A gray Gap scarf & headband for Christmas. I think she was really into snowboarding that year.

A miniature crystal palm tree. I want to say she gave it to me because it reminded her of me, since I started taking hula lessons.

A ceramic frog or "chick in an egg" dashboard ornament.

thoughts of winning first prize at the fair

shared by VJ Rabuy, her sister

One of the best gifts I can remember receiving from Cindy is a box that she made in her sewing class when she was in the 7th grade.

She had to embroider a couple of initials on a box that was completely covered with cloth and trimmed with lace. It was the kind of keepsake box that you could store photos and old letters in. It was in aqua gingham cloth with light pink "V" and "J" letters on the lid. It had small blue bows on the corners and there was even a ribbon that was tied to keep the box closed.

The best part was that she entered it in the Alameda County Fair that year and it won first prize. So, not only did I get the VJ box, I got a big blue ribbon to accompany it, too!

thoughts of 13 golden gifts

shared by Inez Albores, her cousin

The time-honored classic 12 days of Christmas recounts how one’s true love presented a gift each day until Christmas arrived... 12 is beautiful – but 13, that’s Golden.

On my 13^th birthday, Cindy gave me a large gift box with 13 individually wrapped gifts inside. I don’t remember all that they were – only that each one had a special meaning.

During the Christmas season, gift giving is ever-present in our minds. We go to stores and think, “This would look cute on….” Or “This is on sale, it’s perfect…” so we acquire gifts for our loved ones anticipating their needs and wants. But the gifts I received from Cindy that day were things she knew I loved. Something green because it’s my favorite color, a Hershey’s bar because I love chocolate, a comic card of Wolverine, my favorite mutant, and 10 other tokens of how much she cared and how well she knew me.

To this day, nobody has beaten her gift giving record and the care taken to find the perfect gifts, one for each year of my life… not complaining mind you, just reminiscing - Cindy you’re one of a golden kind.

13 Kisses blown your way and always with love overflowing, W.T.

thoughts of infinity and beyond

shared by Ria R. Inciong, her aunt

Three presents from Cindy stick out in my mind. The first is the set of Baby Looney Tunes pillows that she made for Zoe. I decorated Zoe's room with Baby Looney Tunes decal. In a very typical Cindy mode, she thoughtfully and creatively made four small pillows to match the decor.

The second one is the license plate frame that she gave me and Tito Randy. We bought an Infiniti I30 around the same time when Toy Story was released. Leave it to Cindy to have a license plate frame personalized for us to say "To Infinity and Beyond!" True to her character, she couldn't get herself to not spell the word 'infinity' correctly despite the fact that the car is spelled differently.

The third and most precious gift is the Blue's Clue's plate set, complete with a placemat, utensils, and mug, for Zoe. She and Linh gave the set for Zoe to use at Blythe. We still have most of the set; in fact, Teo enjoys using the little mug.

We still have all three of these presents. As you can see, each one is quite thoughtful and very personal. But that was Cindy. She gave always from the heart and always with the sole purpose of bringing joy to the recipient.

thoughts of fuzzy pants and being cute

shared by Marlo R. Beall, her sister

When I think of gifts that I’ve received from Cyn, a lot of things come to mind. But what I think of most fondly are different clothes that she gave me while I was pregnant with our first daughter, Cynthia Naomi (also known as Cyn Cyn or Li’l Cyn).

She gave me a pair of grey lounge pants from Old Navy, that we affectionally dubbed the fuzzy pants. They weren’t specifically maternity pants, but they were stretchy and comfy. I think she enlisted the advice of her friend Nadia, who was either also pregnant or had recently had a baby, about whether she thought the pants would be a good choice. And of course, they were perfect, and I still wear them today.

For my birthday that year, she also gave me a pair of maternity jeans, and a somewhat fancy, dressy, maternity blouse. It was a white, collared, button-down, dress shirt, with a kind of ruffled detail down the middle, along the line of the buttons. I distinctly remember Cyn saying something to the effect of, “Just ‘cause your pregnant, doesn’t mean you can’t be cute!”

thoughts of a gym rat and a letterman jacket

shared by VJ Rabuy, her sister

I recently played in an alumni basketball game at my old high school. It was my first time playing in the alumni game and it's been ten years since I've been in high school, 13 years since I've played on a high school basketball team. The first time I was subbed into the game I ran to what I thought was an open spot along the free throw lines. When I realized there was no space for me there, the ref replied, "Now how long has it been since you've played?" Sheepishly, I stood behind the shooter along with our team's point guard and the odd man out from the other team.

There is something about high school sports that always makes me think of Cyn. Thinking about my cousin Zoe being on the water polo team makes me feel like Cyn would be so proud of her for joining a sports team, especially a sport foreign to most of mainstream athletics. It must have been so fun for Zoe to first start to play, something that I know would have taken me out of my comfort zone.

I used to tease Cyn that she was a gym rat athlete, too soft around the edges to venture into any outdoor sports. Her yearly routine of volleyball in the fall, basketball in the winter and badminton in the spring was never interrupted by rain or other inclimate whether. So, in retrospect, maybe this was her trick for always being able to play everyday in the sport in which she was currently involved.

Another memory of high school sports is sharing Cyn's letterman jacket with her. She lettered in eight varsity sports, so was honored with a white letter. I only played on six varsity teams, so I wouldn't have received that special honor. Since she got the jacket in the latter half of her senior year, she didn't get much wear out of it in high school. To allow me to partake in the jacket's glory, we brought it to the embroidery shop and removed all her junior varsity sports, added my varsity sports underneath hers, and my name and graduation year to the place where her JV sports used to be. With the off chance of someone looking on the other side of the jacket and thinking my name is Cynthia, the jacket has served me well.

The last time I wore it was for the last high school football game of my track and field coach, Coach Mike of JFK. In his 41st season this year, it was his final game as football coach. I even was told I was recognized by someone while walking to the stands because of the jacket. (This was by Cyn's friend Kyle Roman. It might have been because our jacket has the same layout as his own. We copied him! But only because we liked it that much! Thanks Kyle.)

So, in addition to all those team photos, buddy photos, individual sports photos, my old varsity volleyball jacket, old track jackets and matching warm-up bottoms, I have the letterman jacket that I and Cyn share. I liked to complain about the student council letter on the sleeve. I think it makes it anti-jock. But student council was a big part high school, too. So...I guess it belongs. Thanks for the memories, good ol' JFK. And thanks Cyn for always including me.