Wednesday, December 30, 2009

thoughts of knowing you'll always be there

shared by Angelica Bernabe, her childhood friend

No matter how long it’d been since I last saw her, or how far apart we were, we were always close. We never worried about the other person not being able to be there, or if the other person were unavailable for a time—we always came together in the end. Even after month long vacations in the Philippines, two week vacations in faraway places, and regardless of our busy schedules—it was just always known that we’d be in each other’s lives no matter what. “Eh, I don’t have to worry about you; I know you’ll always be there,” was once said to each other, I think when we were around fourteen years old. And since that time, I felt it in my heart that it was true, so I never had to worry about us.

However, I remember on this particular New Years’ Eve, that I was trying to get a hold of her but was unable to, no matter how hard I tried. I think I must have paged and called her a dozen times trying to talk to her and hang out or just even to wish her a Happy New Years. I think I even drove around places hoping to bump into her—visiting her house that normally had at least one person, but was now dark inside. I literally had zero luck in locating a glimpse of her and I was extremely disappointed that night and had thoughts of her when that midnight bell rang.

The next day, I finally got a hold of her and told her of my unusual predicament the night before and she replied, “I was looking for you too!” She continued to say she tried getting a hold of me the night before, but she was just as unlucky as I was. Like me, she also thought of me at midnight which gave me some comfort at the moment. She actually was at a St. Anne’s soup dinner where I didn’t even think of checking at all which infuriated me because I should have known. I’m not sure why we were anxious to try and find each other so badly. Maybe it was because we finally couldn’t get a hold of each other that we were desperate to try. I think we must have been around 16 years old at this time.

She once told me that how you spend New Years’ Eve will be how you’ll spend the rest of the New Year. I cringe when I think of that because of that particular night and I don’t want to live the rest of my life searching (because I took what she said a step further than just one year; I’m dramatic like that I guess). Always missing each other—and always looking for each other. I still look for her, in my dreams and think of her constantly when I see turtles or hear Janet Jackson for some reason. I wonder if she’s somewhere out there looking for me still—or if she knows and is just waiting for me to find her. Wherever she is though, that feeling of closeness is still there and I know she’s not very far at all. Like always though, I’ll be thinking of her at midnight, this coming New Years’ Eve.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

thoughts of love as an action

shared by Jonah Lalas, her friend from college


[The entry below is an article that was originally published in the UCLA Newspaper, the Daily Bruin, April 2003]


I commend the Daily Bruin’s editorial piece on the memory of Cindy Rabuy and setting her as a prime example of a student activist (Viewpoint, April 4, 2003). But I wanted to highlight another aspect of Cindy I think we can all learn from: her capacity to be loving.

 

I read a book last year by black social critic and feminist theorist bell hooks entitled “All About Love: New Visions.” Given hook’s radical history of works on race, gender, and class, I was a little skeptical to learn she’d written a book on love. Because our society is inundated with best-selling “self-help” books like “Men Are from Mars, Women Are From Venus” that merely reinforce existing assumptions about gender, I thought hooks finally sold out. I was pleasantly surprised that hook’s book is not some sort of guide, but a theory that challenges us to redefine our definition of love. Oftentimes, when we think of the word love, we think of a “feeling.” We think of that “force” between Romeo and Juliet, or that feeling we had as a child when our parents took us to Disneyland or bought us that Christmas gift we always wanted.  hooks disregards such simplicity and claims love is an action. It’s not something that you can merely “fall” into or lose control of, nor is love simply a matter of pleasing someone, or satisfying his or her desires with hugs and kisses. It is something that you do. It is a verb. It is a choice characterized by responsibility, respect, commitment, honesty, trust, mutuality and affection that leads to the spiritual growth and self-fulfillment of others. Cindy epitomizes all of these qualities.


Cindy demonstrated extreme dedication to improving the lives of individuals in many ways, but I knew her most for her involvement with the Pilipino community through SPEAR, the Samahang Pilipino Education and Retention program, that provides peer counseling and academic support to students. Her ability to listen attentively to dozens of her student’s stresses and concerns and make them a part of her life is a testimony to her loving personality. She was also a woman of conviction, a visionary who knew what she thought needed to change on campus. She did not simply follow the dominant thought of those above her, and when she witnessed something wrong, she refused to follow the herd. More importantly, if she noticed something in you that showed promise and potential to benefit the community, she did not hesitate to push you to the next level, refusing to allow your talents to go to waste. It was because of her that I got involved with various students groups and ran for certain positions, even though I did not fully have the confidence to do so. In fact, many times she probably believed in me more than I believed in myself. She was the catalyst for so many people who set off internal chain reactions that made you discover talents and magic you thought you never had.


But the one thing that I will always remember Cindy for is her ability to challenge others. She made me realize how cold-hearted I could be towards people, even those close to me. She exposed to me my narcissism. I didn't know how to listen, so when I spoke with her, the conversation always centered on me. Finally, we were talking one night last year and she opened up and started telling me some of the conflicts she was going through. And when I put down the phone, it hit me: I had known this person for a year and a half, and I knew nothing about who she really was. She makes you feel so good about yourself and provides you with so much inspiration, that you forget to ask, “So, what about you? How are you doing?” So from that point on, I made a commitment to change. 


Not only did she challenge me on my arrogance, but she also served as an example of what a loving person should be. She always talked about her loving sisters, whom she got along with so well. I remember the affection she displayed towards her friends, and the way she would talk about the people close to her. She helped me to discover that to love is also to be happy and I aspired to follow her example.


But Cindy was not a machine. She was a human being just like the rest of us who needed validation. Sometimes all of this activism, this selfless commitment to others can tire a person out. One night towards the beginning of summer, she expressed to me how unappreciated she felt and questioned whether or not all of those years of service, and countless hours of dedication to the community at the sacrifice of her grades and social life was worth it. At that moment of vulnerability, I reminded her to just look back at all of the lives she’s touched with her friendship, including mine.


We all have Cindy’s in our lives and it’s up to us not only to follow their example to become active and loving, but to start appreciating and celebrating them while they’re alive. She helped to teach me the importance of family and friendship. She inspired and believed in me. And more importantly she showed me what bell hooks could only describe in a book: love is not just a feeling, love is an action.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

thoughts of bonding opportunities and burying the salad

shared by Lina P. Makabali, her aunt


This is Tita Lina or I am also known as Lola Tittle.  Whenever I think of Cindy, 2 incidents come to mind. 


One Saturday or Sunday afternoon, Cindy called me at home in LA and asked if I wanted to go with her, Marlo, and a few friends to watch a sports game at UCLA. I said I wasn't really into sports, but for her, I would go. Somehow, I just could not refuse her. So I went. It turned out, we had a good time at the gym.


Another time, she called me from UCLA and she said she was not feeling well. If I could please pick her up. Since I was free then, I said I would. So I went to the usual parking spot near Ackerman Union. There she was, waiting for me. When we reached home, I tucked her on to my sofa in the living room, gave her some Tylenol, and let her rest until she felt better. I am not sure if I brought her back to their apartment or if Marlo picked her up.


Looking back, I view these two events as bonding opportunities. For the first time, she called me personally and asked for my help. Like a good Mother Hen, I immediately  agreed. Thank you God for these moments of grace. I believe I was more blessed and got more out of that experience than my act of kindness to her: that family matters, that in any action in the name of love, God's fingerprints are there. Little did I know that in a few weeks time, she was going to join her Creator, and there wouldn't be anymore good times and laughter together, no more shared meals, no more picking up at LAX...       


I just would like to add that one weekend when Arlene visited us in LA, Angela and I joined her, Cyn, and Marlo at a Chinese restaurant in Santa Monica. I think it was called The Royal something. (It closed down after a few years.) We had a good time, enjoying lunch with lots of laughter and shared stories.        

 

Another time, RJ (son of Tito Mon and one of her cousins) was visiting from Manila, and we went to this Japanese restaurant (Kabuki) in Culver City. Most of us ordered green salad as appetizer. Toward the end of the meal, I, being a stickler for  leaving clean plates, noticed the cousins to be peculiarly quiet. I scanned their plates and saw remnants of tempura tails, etc. And I commented, "Wow, clean plates. You finished everything, nothing wasted."  Then I caught their impish, sheepish smiles, and I knew they were up to something. Well, RJ masterminded covering up and burying the salad under the remnants of fish and shrimp tails so it will appear they were all good boys and girls, as trained by their parents and Lola. Then we all laughed  loudly together. Those were very good bonding moments as well: auntie with nieces and nephew. 


So I would like to say that life is short. If there are any golden opportunities to share with family and loved ones, seize the moment, for if we delay, postpone, or make excuses, it may be too late and we miss the chance.


We love you Cindy!  Continue looking after us.  Until our grand reunion...

thoughts of being bound for greatness

shared by Emerson Lego, her friend from college

Happy Birthday Cindy!

Inside of that gentle smile, you were fearless.
While you were way ahead of your time, you were always willing to stop for a lost new friend.
You were compassionate to those in need, and challenged others to be the best they could be.

You accomplished so much in so little time, were bound for greatness, and your spirit will always be with us as a positive force in all of our lives.

When we were on SPEAR together, you taught me many things before I even knew it. I'm still discovering and learning new things you taught me as I think about those times we shared.

Thank you for everything.

Emerson




thoughts of a vivacious, generous, and loving Cyn...

shared by Michelle Magalong, her friend from college


I had the honor to be a roommate of Cyn and her sister, Marlo, back in the summer of 2000. During that very brief time, there were three things that resonated in me about Cyn. First, she had such a strong, loving bond with her sisters. They were not only sisters but also the best of friends. Second, she loved school and work. She always put such passionate energy in everything she did and believed in. She was fearless. She was dedicated. She was pure energy! Third, she loved God. She demonstrated every day that she had faith in God and appreciated all His blessings. She was always generous in her time and energy in giving to others, yet she always found time to spend a few moments in reflection and prayer.


She amazed me in all that she did and who she was. I will always remember Cindy with the excitement in her eyes, the joy in her smile, and the love in her heart. It was an honor to know you, Cyn, and to be blessed with your amazing spirit.

thoughts of the little things that mean a lot

shared by Cathy Serafica de Leon, her close family friend

The following is a list of some of the things that I think of when I think of our beloved Cindy:
 
stratford-upon-avon
british mars bars
c&o trattoria
garlic knots
roomies
sisterhood
turtles
snoopy
curling her hair for some formal she was going to
french braids
usac billboards on bruin walk
spear
samahang
kanji characters on post-it notes
not being afraid to question
basketball
track pants, tank tops, & tennis shoes
dancing with her, carla, & marlo at my wedding
her balancing a glass of salt water over her belly button to soak her new piercing
kerckhoff hall
badminton shuttlecocks with real feathers
d'artagnan from the three musketeers
paper stars
 
Thanks, Cyn, for teaching me how to better love, live, and laugh. You remind me to always try to see the best in others and to try not to be so flippant with my words. Thank you for always making me feel like an honorary Rabuy sister.

thoughts of feeling closer to the heavens

shared by Melanie Pascual, her friend from college

I think about Cindy often when I travel, especially when I'm on a plane and feeling closer to the heavens. And of course, every Halloween. I wish I could just call her to say hello and wish her a Happy 30th Birthday, and ask her how she's doing...How lucky I was to have such a great friend, so kind, so honest, so brilliant, and so loving.

thoughts of being cool, washing feet, and planting a seed

shared by Inez Albores, her cousin


Cool to be Church…


In my heart I will always remember Cindy as a visionary. She could always call things out the way they were, and should be… as a matter of fact she dubbed me an Oddball.


I know, it doesn’t really sound like a compliment – but that’s how I took it. Actually, it is the best compliment I have ever received. Because you see, Cindy was a natural leader – and I was honored to be seen as an Individual by someone who was constantly immersed in so many social groups, communities and friends. Every day I appreciate more and more the wisdom she imparted to me, her lesson on “How to be cool”.

   

In our younger years, Cindy and I were willing and unwilling servants at church…she the former, and I the latter. When she asked me to be an Altar Server with her, I hesitated and reluctantly said yes: so we served…. When we were in need of community service hours, she asked me to teach CCD with her, I wavered and reluctantly said yes: so we taught… Whenever she asked me to serve on Holy Thursday Mass which involved washing people’s feet, I cringed and reluctantly said yes: so we washed. I always believed her heart to be golden for wanting to be so involved in Church the way she did, and with such dignity and charm – that she made it cool. I have a theory that half of our confirmation class of ’98 was there because of her presence. As for me, I cherished her company so I would go wherever she asked. Through the years, we continued our dynamic, she asking and I agreeing. Little did I know she would plant a seed in my heart: a passion for serving others through the Church.


I know she is laughing as she looks down at me, now that I find myself working for the Diocese of Oakland in the Department of Evangelization and Catechesis. I can hear her saying “Inez, ye of little faith” every time I find myself wondering how I arrived. Cindy, the work I do – I dedicate to you.


May Eternal Light shine upon your face forever.


With Love Overflowing,

Wolvie Tampon


thoughts of hiding behind the drapes and reading underneath the stairs

shared by Ria R. Inciong, her aunt

I'm rarely at a loss for words, yet here I am not knowing how to start writing about my memories of Cindy.
 
My first, and probably funniest, memory of her was when she was just a little over one year old. Tito William and I were home with her. One minute we were all watching TV, the next 
Cindy was nowhere to be found. We searched all around the house and even outside, but no luck. So we both headed back home completely befuddled as to where she went, or worse, how would we explain this to my brother and sister-in-law. Then lo and behold from behind the drapes, a little girl with a big smile comes out.
 
Let me fast-forward to the times Randy and I spent with her. We were honored to be included in the X-Men club. Cindy and her cousins each had a designated X-Men character; she was Storm. Randy was dubbed as Cable and I as Psylocke. We'd call each other Saturday mornings to make sure we caught the latest episode of X-Men.
 
We'd also call each other Saturday mornings to make sure we caught High School Sports Focus whenever she was featured. Cindy lettered in 3 sports in High School: volleyball, basketball, and badminton. Aside from X-Men episodes, we looked forward to seeing her sports highlights.
 
We enjoyed spending time together outside of family functions. We watched "My Girl" with several other of her cousins. Poor Randy had to sit through the movie with all of us bawling our eyes out. He didn't learn his lesson though because years later he took us to watch "Miss Saigon" at the Orpheum. I can vividly picture Cindy's animated face reacting to all that was transpiring on stage, singing along, emoting, doing hand gestures. Our friend Emy played the lead character. After the show, we drove Emy back to where was staying. Cindy was the perfect blend of an admiring fan and a gentle critic. She was generous with her compliments to Emy but she did not hold back expressing her critique of that evening's performance.
 
I admired that about Cindy - her ability to express candid thoughts. She let me and Randy know her disappointment of not having her be one of our bridesmaids for our wedding. She was absolutely right; she was closer to us than her older siblings. We had no excuse for not picking her other than we went by age. Lucky for me and Randy, Cindy was forgiving, another quality of hers that I dearly admired. Despite her disappointment, she agreed to be an altar server for our ceremony. She even choreographed and performed a dance number at our reception.
 
Cindy and our daughter Zoe became best friends almost from the moment Zoe was born. We decorated Zoe's room with Looney Tunes characters. Cindy sewed pillows to match the decor. We still have those pillows. Zoe stayed at my mom's house while Randy and I were at work. We would often find Cindy playing with her when we picked her up. One specific memory was finding Cindy and Zoe reading underneath the stairs at my mom's house. The weeks before going to UCLA, they spent almost everyday together.
 
Cindy was a winter quarter transfer to UCLA. Her first months were tough. We spoke on the phone often. It was a challenge for her to adjust not just to the college atmosphere but to living with her two older sisters. It was one thing to live together at their parents' house, it was quite another to live together as college roommates. We encouraged her to hang on and promised to visit. Eventually, she found her niche and embraced the college experience. Her phone calls switched from talks about being homesick to talks about her different endeavors. She ventured into student politics and would often call to discuss the situation amongst the student groups.
 
We visited her once while in college. Zoe was completely rapt with The King and I at the time. Cindy sang along the songs from the movie and endured the numerous repetitions. Zoe was also into Pokemon. Cindy's creative side kicked into gear as she baked a clay Pokeball for Zoe. We feasted on Romano bread puffs from Numero Uno Pizzeria and stayed up late talking about anything, everything, and nothing.
 
I've been writing this for over two weeks but cannot seem to finish. But it is now Cindy's birthday so I think I need to wrap up and hit Send.
 
So let me end with my last vivid memory of Cindy. On several occasions, when driving home from LA, Cindy would stop at our house on Carmen Way first before heading to her parents' house. It was either her drive home for Thanksgiving or Christmas 2002, she called to tell us to wait up because she was coming. She wanted to meet our son Teo who was just born in October. I know that, like always, we spent Christmas together that year. But for some reason, the vision of her holding Teo is etched in my mind as the last time I saw her.

thoughts of a wonderfully random night

shared by Genessee Quizon, her friend from college

Cyn and I were working together on SPEAR at the time. It was a Friday night after a particularly emotional Samahang General Meeting which left us both feeling a bit out of sorts. We decided that we had to do something to get rid of our funky dispositions. Cyn suggested a free UCLA Volleyball game at Pauley so we started there. Then we had chicken and waffles at Roscoe's and then somehow ended up at a house party. For whatever reason, no one else was available to join us, but we ended the night, spirits raised and with new shared memories. Out of all of my undergraduate years at UCLA, that night was one of the best, if not the most memorable. Cynthia was great at not getting down on anything. She was one of the most positive people alive and could turn around any situation for the better. Thanks for the memories, Cyn.

thoughts of coffee-flavored Haagen-Dazs ice cream

shared by Bret Galeste, her friend from college

December 22, 2009.  We'd still be friends -- and we'd sporadically get in touch for prolonged periods of time, followed by some inactivity before we'd catch up again. I'd have a previously set alarm go off on my phone that goes off exactly once a year, reminding me that it's your birthday. And then I'd call you or text you at the very least, welcoming you to the league of thirtysomethings (I have a feeling you wouldn't be much of a Facebooker, opting instead for genuine interaction with your friends). I'd tell you Happy Birthday and I miss you and that I love you, if I had the courage, though regardless it'd be true.  

I can imagine exactly how it would be if you were still here, well partially because you are, but mostly because you've made such a lifelong impression on me. I look back often on things I wrote after we lost you, and those thoughts -- they still feel so fresh to me. I've lost people before, and I've managed to somehow sever most emotional ties with that person no matter how much I reflect. But with you it's different. Not so much in a heavy, grieving kind of way, but moreso intense joy for having had you in my life and having been so close to you during such a formative time in my life. Yes, your death affected me deeply, but not nearly as much as your life.

Someday, should I be so lucky, I will be blessed with a baby girl - and I will name her Cynthia. I will do everything within my power to love her and show her how to leave a positive impact on her world, just like her namesake. I look forward to having that conversation when she asks me where her name came from. I'll call you my best friend from college, from life in general, because I couldn't honestly say that I've ever had a friend that was better than you. I'd recall our travels and the time you felt so guilty for taking a sample from a delivery of freshly baked croissants in a Parisian hotel lobby. And then this is when I'd tell her where my love of coffee-flavored Haagen-Dazs ice cream came from, as well as the team-building exercises that I do every term with my new students. I'd describe you as "nice" and "kind", two cliched words that never mean more than when they refer to you.

Cindy, Happy Birthday to the most genuine, most thoughtful and kindest soul I've ever known. You were always there, and I hope that you'd say the same of me. You loved so naturally and freely. You lifted me up more times than you knew, and you never judged me. You had this way of making people feel like each and every one of them was the most important person in your life. It makes me sad to think of the great things you would have accomplished in this world, but then I realize that you made all of us better people, and for that, the world will forever be blessed. Happy Birthday! I miss you. I love you.  ~ Bret : )

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

thoughts of missing you...



A special thank you to Ramil Sumalpong for creating this video - within merely a few days of Cyn's memorial services, and sharing it with all of us. Thank you also to Phi Dang for posting it on youtube a couple of years ago.

thoughts of being roommates

shared by Raisl Sharon R. Cruz, her cousin

"Getting ready to go out clubbing is already half the fun of going out." - Cindy

Though we never really made it out of the house that night, we had fun getting made up, trying on clothes, and giggling like little girls. For some reason, we just decided to stay home and dissect each and every part of the movie Clueless for her school project. That movie always reminds me of Cindy.


There's a lot of things that remind me of Cindy. I had the great privilege of being her roommate for about 5 months at Marlo and Andrew's home in Culver City. Being a newbie here in America at that time, she taught me a lot on how to be a little Americanized. Every now and then, I would remember bits and pieces of what me and Cindy talked about in those 5 months:


- We talked about how a long distance relationship sucks!  You can't date anybody else coz you are already committed, and yet, you can't ask your boyfriend to drive you somewhere coz he's a million miles away.


- She laughed whenever I say "ref" instead of "fridge." She said I sound so weird.


- We both agreed to learn how to snowboard. I really did try to learn. After she died, I took 3 snowboarding lessons already. I just can't seem to grasp the concept. I learned how to ski though, and I would like to think that skiing will take the place of what we've agreed on. As a side note, as soon as I was gliding down the slope, I said to myself - “Cindy, look at me, I'm skiing!"


- She made me read Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. When it became a movie in 2005, I just had to watch it.


Those are just a few things. The most important of them all is how she made me feel so welcomed and so loved. She even took care of me when I was sick, made me drink tea with honey and lemon. A five month period may be a short time to get to know a person, but I strongly believe that it's not the length of time, but instead the quality of those times spent with each other. She inspired me a whole lot, most especially to be caring and to be sincere to the people that really matter.


Cindy, I love you and I miss you. And....oh yeah, I still wear the red and white PJs you gave me 7 Christmases ago.

thoughts of contagious energy

shared by Kirk “Seafood” Lum, her friend from college


I remember Cynthia so well but by her camp name "Snoopy". Snoopy was the brightest, most warming member of our camp session. Her youth and positive energy were truly contagious. I know that sounds generic/cliched, but Snoopy was truly someone whom everybody was fond of. She was a special talented person and I feel blessed to have shared some camp experiences with her. She will not be forgotten.

thoughts of having the Woodsey Spirit

shared by Mark “Mr. Chips” Jutabha, her friend from college

Snoopy,

In all my years of camp which many will attest as too much, I have never met someone as kind-hearted, loving, a true embodiment of the Woodsey spirit, as you. Of my plethora of camp shirts earned through the years, all but few remain. Session 4—Piece by Piece is one of them. You made everyone around you laugh and love life that much more, be it hanging out at session parties or being filthy rotten stinky up at camp having a great time. Your passing was a deep loss for everyone, you were friend, you were family. I still remember vividly the throng of friends who gathered to celebrate your life in picture, in story, and in song. Cyn, you are missed, and I am blessed for having known you.

Mr. Chips

thoughts of the giving, smiling warrior

shared by Roger “Boy Wonder” Lum, her friend from college

It’s crazy but I honestly think about Snoopy all the time. Her memory comes up randomly and makes me sad because her life had to end so abruptly. As I get older and I pass new chapters in my life, I think about her and it makes me feel down that “Snoopy isn’t going to get to experience this”.  Then I think to myself, Snoopy would hate for me to think that way. She would never want someone to feel bad because of her.  She was that giving.

 I did camp with her for 4 years and 2 of those years we were co’s (the closest of close).  The thing that sticks out in my mind about Snoopy is she was the perfect mix of toughness (she was a warrior), compassion (she was a giver), and happiness (she was a smiler). I try to live my life the way I viewed how she lived hers. Life is precious but often we don’t realize it. Snoopy gave me the gift of realizing how precious life really is. Some things in life we never forget and I know her spirit is one of them for me.


thoughts of the one who kept us together

shared by Paul “Alabama” Tran, her close family friend


ORIGINS OF SNOOPY


I met Cyn a few days after she turned sixteen. I’d driven up to the Bay Area to hang out with her sisters and they took me to one of her high school basketball games. I remember that she was a good player and had a nice handle. I even remember her driving in for a layup and cheering for her along with her family. After the game, I was introduced to her.


“This is Bama,” Marlo said,

using my nickname from UCLA UniCamp.

I expected her to think it was a weird name,

but she simply smiled and said,

“Hi, Bama.”


I saw Cyn a few more times on that trip. She was usually tired and sleepy in that do-everything Cyn way. One morning, I looked at her--perhaps it was her fair skin or her chill demeanor--and said, “You look like Snoopy.” She smiled and in her cool nonchalant way said, “Okay.”


Two years later, Cyn started at UCLA. One day in the spring, I saw Cyn on Bruin Walk. She told me that like her sisters, Marlo and Carla, she had joined UniCamp, too.

“What’s your camp name?” I asked her.

I beamed a huge Kool-Aid Man smile, flattered

she’d remembered, let alone chosen the name.

“Snoopy,” she answered.  


LATE-NIGHT SLUMBER PARTY


During Cyn’s fifth year at UCLA, I had moved back to Los Angeles from the Bay Area. I hadn’t seen Cyn much since her freshman year and when I saw her again, she was no longer the shy freshman trying to make friends or get to know the campus. She was, as I liked to tease her, “grown.” She was wicked smart, thinking about graduate school at Harvard, and ready to leave UCLA. She had even applied to teach English in Japan.  


Because I was wrapping up my thesis and working near campus, I saw Cyn often. As I had grown close to Marlo and Carla before, I told her this was our “buddy time.” She was living with Marlo and Andrew at the time, over in Culver City. When I had to work consecutive nights in LA, rather than driving back to Long Beach, I would some times crash at their place.


The night before Cyn’s accident, Cyn and I stayed up late talking.  She was a great listener and whenever I said something she thought clever, she would encourage me by saying, “You should write that down” or “Did you think of that?” It wasn’t the first time we’d had thoughtful conversations. (We often talked politics, philosophy, the upcoming war). But the topic this time was eerily fitting: We talked about family, love, the future.


She told me about how different each one of her sisters was and how she had a unique way with each of them. She said she “understood” each sister on their own terms and could help them clear up miscommunications. Arlene is like this, she said, and Marlo is more like that. With Carla, you have to talk to her this way, but with VJ you have to talk to her that way. “So you’re like the hub of the Rabuy sisters?” I asked. “Yeah, something like that,” she said. Though she was being modest, I could tell she was proud of each special bond that she shared with Arlene, Marlo, Carla, and VJ.  


I also remember talking to her about relationships and our future dreams: We’d both wanted to impact people, the world positively. Though I was four years older, I never felt the difference in age. She had a calming presence and was wise beyond her years. She had what some people refer to as “an old soul.” I gave Cyn advice on work and graduate school. She would smile at my crazy dreams and say in her completely inspiring and giving and sincere manner “Yeah, of course, you can do it” or “Sure, why not?” The rest of the night, through conversations both serious and silly, we stayed up late, in our pajamas giggling like “school girls at a slumber party,” Marlo would later say.  


The next morning, I woke early to go to work. I passed through Cyn’s bedroom to use her bathroom. She was still sleeping, so I tried to be quiet. But as I walked back to the living room, she woke up. At the time, it was quite unlike her, to wake up so early. But now looking back, maybe it all makes some kind of sense. Her black hair covering half her face, she rubbed her eyes and sat half way up.


“Bye, Bama,” she said.

I remember, vividly, reaching out and

grabbing her hand and thinking,

What a beautiful kid.

“Bye, Snoopy,” I said. “See you later.”

She let go of my hand and went back to sleep.

thoughts and photos of Woodsey fun and love

shared by Chris “Motown” Morris, her friend from college


I will never forget you "S-N-double O-P....Y".  You are truly missed.



thoughts of track pants, tank tops and ridiculousness

shared by Joann Baso, her friend from college

tinikling + destiny’s child = fun

Dear Cyn,


I was just thinking of you last week. I was up late after stumbling onto this old montage of PCN - remember the one that required that we MAKE all of those dang programs ourselves? I've never hated highlighters and post-its so much. The montage had a picture of you in your standard college outfit of track pants, tank, and sweater tied around your waist. I think that's how I'll always remember you. 


Anyway, it made me think of my most favorite memory of you. Recall our ridiculousness right before we would start every Tinikling set? We entered from different sides of the stage and from the wings we would strike those Destiny's-Child-Say-My-Name style poses right up until it was our turn to paste on smiles and make our entrance. Everyone thought we were sorta insane and that's what made it the best.


Happy Birthday Cindy! We miss ya in these parts.


Hugs,

Joann

thoughts of hitting it off instantly

shared by Peter B. Bade, her friend from college


Although I was not very close to Cynthia personally, she was always a very warm, caring, and loving person to be around.  I was a recent transfer student when I first met her at UCLA.  I think it was at a Samahang meeting, and I'm pretty sure that she approached me first as I would have been too shy to introduce myself to anyone there, being new and all.  I recall that we hit it off instantly because I told her that I was from Fremont and went to one of her rival high schools in the area.  I'll never forget how welcoming and inviting she was that day.  I'm sure she was this way with other people new to Samahang and UCLA in general.  Happy 30th Birthday Cynthia!  You will always be remembered.

thoughts of taking the time to say hello

shared by Jenn Guhit, her friend from college


I didn't know Cynthia that well but I know that she was a very nice and sweet person. I remember one time I was early for my SPEAR appointment and she saw me waiting by myself. She said hello and asked if I wanted to go get something to eat with her. I remember thinking how nice that was of her. That is one memory I have of her that I just wanted to share. I thought that was very nice of her to say hello. Even though I didn't know her too well, she took the time to say hi and make sure I wasn't there sitting alone without anyone to talk to.

thoughts of inspiring you to reach for your dreams

shared by Jonah Lalas, her friend from college


This is from my journal on April 5, 2003: 


"I miss you Cindy. I miss your smile, I miss your giggle, I miss your advice. You were always pushing me, my abilities to the limit, helping me to discover courage and leadership I never knew I had. You truly believed in me. You're gone now, but I will never stop believing in you. You will always have a special place in my heart. For you, I will continue to push myself. For you I will become a leader in the union movement and win. For you, I will go on to higher education and gather up tools I need to create change. For you, I will go on to move up and make this movement even stronger. Thank you Cindy for sharing your strength. Thank you for inspiring me. Thank you for never refusing to believe in me. Thank you for sharing with me your love. You will live on forever in my heart, in my memories, in my dreams."


I wrote that over 6 years ago but my feelings remain the same. There are so many good people in this world who you meet, but I can only point to a few who I can say really influenced and shaped who I am. I have always been hesitant with my leadership, but Cindy pushed me and made me believe in myself. I spent 6 years with the union, became a leader and accomplished things I never thought I could. I am now in law school finishing my first semester at Berkeley. Even now, she still continues to inspire me to reach for my dreams.